Has it really been this long??

Have I really had nothing to write about all this time? *thinks* Well today for some reason when I was driving to the store I read Smithfield Ave. as "Shithead Ave." and I was like, what a strange name for a road! So, that happened.

I am needing an escape from lj and those girls I wrote about in my last post. The soullessly foul-mouthed fake lesbians. (Why soullessly foul-mouthed? Because they do it with no passion. Swearing should mean something, it should emphasize something! But they say fuck like you'd say potato, and it takes all the interest out of the word. Not to mention what it does to the potato!)

Anyway, I had one of those girls on my friends list and she "unfriended" me. (Horrible word!) And I was relieved. I was never gonna call her a ho and tell her to come over and fuck me like all her other friends, so you could see why it would be a bit of a relief. But like anything involving social contact or lack thereof, it also made me a little sad. Because it's like proof. You see, I WANT to be wrong about myself. I want the reality to be, "you think you don't fit in but you really do! We love you even though you are apparently Amish or something!" But no... I really don't fit. And I'm also not Amish. But I guess I might as well be. Well I like being wholesome, so fuck 'em. LOL IRONY... also, proper usage of "fuck." Fuck with meaning!!

I guess on that note, I'm outta here.
~ Your barn-raising pal

Sometimes I loathe livejournal. I can't believe the way other women talk to each other!! It's all swearing and sex and mock insults and fake lesbianism. For example, "c'mere cuntbag so I can sit on your face! I love u!" I'd type more examples but, I'm still recovering from that one. And they all do it! What the hell planet have I landed on? Is this like Planet of the Apes where they discover it was earth all the time and YOU BLEW IT UP, YOU BASTARDS!?

I mean I know it's just a jokey way of talking but I find it unsettling. I don't think calling each other bitches and ho's and cunts ALL THE TIME, even in jest, is healthy and I really don't get the fake lesbian I-wanna-sex-you-up stuff. I have no problem with actual lesbians, but... ??? I just can't imagine talking to another woman like that. Or any other human. This is why all my friends are men. or robots.


umm. Forget I said the part about the robots :/

My new computer background! I'm gonna miss the one I had (Mike, Joel, Crow, and Servo on the SoL, from Soultaker) but right now that is making me think of the offseason and that is bad bad bad!! Saturday is "TRUCK DAY" and i wish I could stowaway! haha how awesome would that be... hitch a ride down to FL with all the batting equipment and stuff, like a baseball hobo. yup that's me!

That's all I got... it's like slushing out today. It's like living in a slurpee machine. without y'know, the blue goop... ok I'm done.

oh random internet quiz, that might just be the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me! *is touched*

I miss writing... more specifically, I miss having something to say. I miss being honest. I know I'm gonna feel better when baseball starts, and winter's over, but... I wish I didn't feel so damn DEAD this time of year! A little spark of life would be nice. It's like, I've run out of everything and I'm waiting to be restocked. Like in Hitchhiker's Guide, where the ship is grounded for hundreds of years because they were waiting on the lemon-scented napkins, or whatever? Yeah, it's kinda like that.

WHERE ARE MY NAPKINS YOU BASTARDS!!

~Your lemon-scented pal, L.

Dear New England Patriots,

Thank you for an awesome season and a heckuva fun ride. Nothing can take away the amazing journey we as Pats fans had this year, nope, not even a Super Bowl loss. Be proud, boys... most of us don't ever get that close to history.

Thanks and much love,
a fan

Now... ARE YOU READY FOR SOME BASEBALL??

(also, somewhere Larry Csonka is happy and that's a little bit of a good thing, right?)

I downloaded some "normal" music today (like, top 40 stuff everyone listens to) and I discovered something: when I find some of that music I LIKE, I feel really good. I actually feel more connected to the universe. as long as I never download any Britney Spears or Ashlee Simpson or, y'know, Lindzee Twatface or whatever, I think I'm safe. (They all have those names that end with an "eee!" sound, for whatever reason.)

So... I haven't been doing very well lately. And I haven't written about it, because I feel I owe it to, well, myself, to write about the ups and downs of life with at least a dash of humor, and I feel utterly humorless. That is a terrible way to feel. I thrive on humor. I thrive on always being a little step above the world because part of me is cocking an eye, and laughing.

I don't know what's more sad... that I'm watching something called My Big Redneck Wedding, or that I just paused it when I went to the bathroom. durp. Well the groom has a barstool on wheels... it's awesome!... sorta.

bride to minister: Where were you ordained at?
minister: Uh, the state prison.

I'm watching the old American Gladiators, featuring Saint Larry Csonka. I used to watch this show religiously, so now it makes for wonderful nostalgia (with the added bonus of Larry Csonka humor courtesy of MST). I watched the show so much I actually remember all the contestants. No, that's not sad, that's AWESOME.

Other than that... nothing. My life is made up of a lot of nothing right now. Almost as much nothing as The Starfighters, but without the sexy refueling scenes. So... more nothing, I suppose. Well, I'm sure something will happen eventually. It will be very, very good when January is over. I hate this month.

Of course, I hate February too. But March... ah, March! March is the start of all that is good and right with the world.

Well, I am now about to watch something called 20 Greatest Redneck Moments, followed by something called My Big Redneck Wedding. That 'bout sums it up. yup.

~ Love, Cindy Lou (my redneck name!)

Blech!

That's what it is doing out right now. It is bleching. But, I am snugabug at home with piles of chicken, so that's all that really matters. And I just had a long bubblebath with a tequila sunrise, closed my eyes and pretended it was summerish, so that was nice too. <3

Go pats! go celts! go sox! HOORAY FOR EVERYONE!!

A while back I ranted about this girl who was being a total bitch for absolutely no reason. She finally got called out on it and made an apology post. Except at the end she said, "you know I don't care if I'm a bitch, at least I'm upfront and honest!" Which doesn't sound like much of an apology and is also NOT TRUE. And then, this friend of hers piped up saying "You don't have to apologize for anything, at least you're not weak and 'phony nice' like everyone else," and then quoted Morrissey of all people, saying "the world is designed for bores" or similar.

Allow me to rebut.

1. "BITCH" is not a viable personality option. It is an unfortunate mood swing. If you think talking crap to everyone makes you upfront and honest, that simply means you are full of crap. Being a bitch does not make you "strong" or "real or "cool," it makes you every bit as one-dimensional as the "phony nice" people you hate so much.

2. "NICE" does not always equal phony, and it sure as hell doesn't equal weak. In fact, it gets harder and harder to be a genuinely nice person in this world, esp. when there are so many cynics who don't even think there is such a thing. No one should be "nice" all the time just like no one should be bitchy all the time. But "nice" IS a viable personality option, which to me just means kindness and fairness and rationality is your default position, rather than "FDHFHBDBEUHDEBUEHBFUCKYOU!!FNDOUUEYDFUCK!" And guess what? If you're usually kind and fair and rational, people will be more likely to listen to you if you're genuinely upset about something. If you're always flying off the handle, it's a bit like the boy who cried wolf, isn't it?

3. Morrissey also said, "It's so easy to laugh. It's so easy to hate. It takes strength to be gentle and kind." I would give my RIGHT FUCKING NUT to have had the guts to reply to her with that, to throw her own dear depressed British popstar back in her face. Especially since it's exactly what I was just saying, but no one would listen to me saying it.

4. Nice, mean, good, bad. Whatever. To quote Tom Servo (yes I'm quoting a gumball machine robot puppet, SHADDUP) on his reply to "Only the good die young:"
"Most of us are morally ambiguous, which explains our random dying patterns."

HAPPINESS IS~

Getting email from lj addressed to "mrs. rowsdower."

I am quite possibly the most easily amused person on the planet. :P

Ok it's that time.

We are off to see the Pats (hopefully) beat the fierce Jags. I am wearing pink glitter! You might say, hey that's a bit excessive, one should at least wait until the super bowl to bring out the glitter, but I say no. Carpe diem baby! Glitter and victory!

~til later <3

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post it in your own journal.



1. MY BAND IS CANADIAN. WOOT.
2. THIS IS A QUOTE BY OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES WHO IS SOME SORT OF DEAD ENGLISH PERSON. might be confusing him with winston churchill...? ANYWAY, YAY

Ooer that was fun. I can't stop saying "ooer," i've been saying it all week! Ooer! Help! shut me off please, there's a little switch in the middle of my back. thank you.

Soooo last night I took a break from Canada and went to... Japan! Yes, it was the thrilling first installment of the Fugitive Alien series. Will I be singing "he tried to kill me with a forklift" all day long? Likely. I want to start my "watching every ep in order" dealie, but I have to muster up some... whatever, mustery stuff... to get into season K. I've only seen one ep, and it wasn't bad. The DVD quality was better than expected (though I've heard that's not the case for all of them), and the segments were goofily entertaining (mostly for the squeetasticness of young!Joel & Trace), but the MOVIE! The riffing is more far-spaced and I think the movies are WORSE. oy. So maybe I'll just start with the Crawling Eye and end with season K. And watch Final Sacrifice 47 times inbetween, of course. *nod*

I also watched Sunday's TAR episode, and I miss Kint and Vyxen so bad! They are without a doubt my all-time fave team. I have never seen anything so hilarious as them arriving in Romania in their matching pink and black outfits and proclaiming, "oooo it's so gothy!" Yessss I am sure Romania is quite "gothy." LOL they were comedy gold. And damn fine racers, actually. If only they'd u-turned Horrible Couple instead of Don and whosit, they'd still be in. And the Horrids would be gone!

Also, why were K & V called the "dating goths" but TK and Rachel aren't the "dating hippies," and Nate and Jen (the Horrids) aren't the "dating assholes?"

I also watched the new American Gladiators last night lol. It's pretty good ~ it's really hard!~ but needless to say, I MISS LARRY CSONKA!! (And I thank AG for my even knowing who the hell Larry Csonka is) :P

Well folks, it is 64 DEGREES here today, so as soon as I finish my coffee I am outta here! In flip-flops no less!! hmmm I have a near-inhuman craving for a roast beef sandwich. We're talking Carnivore City here. Perhaps I'll head over to the Beef Barn (yes there really is a place called the Beef Barn, and it really looks like a barn, and there's a cafe next to it called Coffee and Cream, and I'll just let you use your imagination on that one).

On second thought, Woonsocket defies imagination. And should probably be renamed to Carnivore City.

byeeeeeeeee! <3

peeeee esssss ~

You know what is the BEST feeling? That sort of whoooosh! feeling you have when you've escaped from something. Like, in my case, December. January has been this whole sort of whoooosh!! feeling so far. I'm freeeeee! And spring is coming!! And baseball!!! It helps that it was like 58 degrees today. But I might even make it through another snowstorm now, because I have momentum towards happiness. The world has a sort of lightness to it.

And, let's face it, there's nothing quite as exciting as a narrow escape. ;)

~ love, Moose Lips

From the department of the very, very wrong:

I passed by a church billboard today which proclaimed, "God loves you, shower Him with love this Sunday." Which I, sadly, read as "God loves you, shower with Him this Sunday."

*goes to hell*

*in a handbasket*

Hell aside, I feel oddly buoyant today. All you have to do to be happy is surround yourself with things you love, all the time.

Come back here, syrup rustler!!

Soooo I watched Final Sacrifice again last night. In its entirety. Yes, I might just be mentally ill. But!! Y'know when you just want to eat poptarts, or ramen, or grilled cheese, and you can't bring yourself to eat anything else? And it's mostly nutrionally empty, but it fills you up anyway? Yeah, it's kind of like that. And I still hold that it's the best movie MST ever did. Not that that's saying, well, anything, but at least it has a plot and mostly makes sense and stuff. Except the part where Canadian Villain Garth Vader gets shot in the butt by Troy and bursts into flames. I don't think I'll ever understand that one. Or why his explodeyness makes the idol fall over with that amusing "ooooer" sound Mike & the bots provide.

Melissa, fighting crime throughout southwestern Alberta

Bugger!!

I have started not updating again. Or... stopped updating. Yeah.

I just want it to be spring now. I keep buying pretty pastel-y springy things in the hopes that it is actually spring, but it is not. The icicles melted off my car, so that's a plus.

This year I'm gonna watch every ep of MST3K, season K through 10, in order. That is, if I can ever stop watching Final Sacrifice. I don't have all the season K's but I have everything else, and I think it shall be fun! *rubs hands together gleefully*

Also, people who stay up late are more fun. Just a random observation.

Happy New Year!!

So I am ridiculously obsessed with Final Sacrifice. Seriously. Rowsdower has a stupid name and is an alcoholic with hockey hair and he is still cooler than you. I am so in love with this movie it hurts.

Oh, wait. I used cosmo mix but with sour apple vodka. Which means it's something else... probably an avocado.

I am drinking Cosmopolitans. The cocktail is like seriously the greatest invention ever, with the possible exception of the cocktail shaker. But it's sort of like the chicken and the egg. Or love and marriage, or whatever. You can't have one without the other.

*sips*

pwaaa. Why don't I ever remember to come here?

Well I know when I write in here. It's when I need a place to myself. It's a comforting feeling, though sometimes it's spurred by something uncomfortable. Which is what makes it comforting, though. If you have chicken soup when you're not sick it's just bits of chickens and carrots floating around, right?

So anyway. Yesterday I had a lovely time, actually left the house after THE BLIZZARD. Went to Mexican restaurant. Margaritas were enjoyed. There was a horrible sort of Mexican American Idol on (if that makes any sense) which was hilarious.

hmm. The County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl is a REALLY crap bowl name.

snoooooooow!!

So, wow. I've been sick ~ sore throat, stuffy nose, coughing, the whole shebang ~ for the last several days. And I have not had anything to drink since last Thursday's Christmas Beer Party of Doom (TM). But today I felt like making cocktails, which consisted of gin, OJ, and ginger ale, and my throat feels sooo much better! I think I have discovered some sort of liquid throat lozenge! I had like a hacking death cough previously. :/

Well that was a loooong day ~ it seems like it's been about 27 hours since yesterday. Snow creates a sort of odd slowing down of time.

Just like me... MARTIN GRAMATICA IS BACK, BABY!!!

I have willed it. So it is written, so it shall be. Let the Chipmunk Era begin in New Orleans!

Man, a lot of people on lj suck. This is because they are teenage girls. I didn't like them the first time around, and I sure as hell don't like 'em now. And some of them are breeding. *hides in closet*

Seriously, this one girl is a complete raging bitch, and everyone kisses her ass! The whole thing makes me feel sick. It really is just like high school (well especially for her, since she's like 17... with a baby... and a whole lot of misplaced bile). I've NEVER UNDERSTOOD that whole girl thing. Mean girl thing. If someone is a raging bitch, I simply want to be VERY FAR AWAY from them. And if I understand how these things go, some other bitch will be like, "wait! She's a huge bitch! We don't like her anymore!" And absolutely nothing will change, except there'll be a different bitch bitching, and maybe in a different color.

siiiigh.... why did I want to make graphics on lj, again? Curse my love of shiny things!!

Anyway... I sent out my animal shelter Christmas cards today... felt good! I am really digging Christmas this year. I feel like it's my friend again, like... I can look past all the obligatory crap and just see the sparkle, y'know? The sparkle is always there, underneath things, if you look close enough. I swear.

Go to the category page on Overheard Everywhere. Find your area (state, country, university, etc) under 'Places', and post a few (1-5) quotes that you think exemplify the area.

College girl: I'm taking this online Arabic course... Did you know their alphabet is just all, like, smiley faces?

Providence, Rhode Island

Lesbian: True friends don't believe you have STDs!

Energy-Alternative club
Providence, Rhode Island

Teen boy to friends: I tried to drink a whole gallon of milk once, but that didn't happen and I ended up drinking a half gallon instead. Then I ended up pissing shit, man. It was awful, and it smelled so bad...

Skybridge, Providence Place Mall
Providence, Rhode Island

Drunk frat boy: Shiiit, I'm God! I'm God, and I've seen so much asscrack!

Brown University
Providence, Rhode Island

(And in case you're wondering, they ALL exemplify Rhode Island, baby!) :D

Well that's about all I can muster today folks. I'm sick and have been wandering around in a cobwebby Nyquil haze. *wanders off*

Ahh, Stranded in Space. Gotta love a "sci-fi" movie whose premise allows for the entire thing to be filmed in Bakersfield, or similar. It's not Earth, it's "Terra!" Those aren't pigs, they're, um... space pigs! yeah. good times.

This peppermint mocha coffee creamer is so freaking good! It's especially nice being sipped from this peppermint striped coffee mug. Life really is all about the simple pleasures. They're pretty easy to create, actually, and always underrated in this crazy world of action!!

Also, am amused by that little ad for people advertising on your blog... honestly, who would want to advertise on a blog that talks about toenails??

Dr. Scholl's? Pedicurists? The company that makes toenail clippers (TCI, one would presume... Toenail Clippers, Inc.)?

*vastly amused right now*

Pah! I changed settings on my blog and I think it would be very easy to hit "delete blog" instead of "update settings," even though one is in red friendly letters and the other is in black doomy letters. Delete... deleeeeete!! noooo!

Anyway, I didn't delete it, obviously.

What I hate about cutting my toenails is, I cut them over the trash bin but they go pinging off in all directions EXCEPT the trash bin and then I have to go hunt them down. Toenail hunting = ick. Or if I was a guy I would just let them lie there until... ever. Ever? Are toenails biodegradable or whatever? Eh. Well it seems the thing to do is aim everywhere BUT the trash bin and then they will probably go pinging in. *nod* I must have something to talk about besides... toenails. Well there are some very strange things saved on the DVR. Movies with titles like "At Midnight I Will Eat Your Soul and I Won't Floss My Teeth Afterwards," or "I am Coming to Shoot You in the Foot and it Might Smart a Bit." Or my personal fave, "At Breakfast I Will Pour OJ on Your Cornflakes Instead of Milk, See If I Don't, Muahaha." I have no idea what this shit is!!

Gosh I miss doing these late-night blog updates. But they were usually done while playing Clan Lord and eating cheese. That was a different lifetime ago. I'll have to make a new lifetime, eh?

(Just as long as it's not Lifetime: Television for Women. Cause seriously, how many Tori Spelling movies can one watch before realizing, "hey, I just watched a bunch of Tori Spelling movies and it's several hours later in my life!")

Also I never eat late at night anymore. I'm trying to watch my weight. How depressing is that??

I found a layout that ALMOST looked like limes. Almost... if you squint a little and go to Argentina. Sooooo it looks like my lime is really and truly gone. My bloggy soul is still here but my limes have fallen into the abyss. Not a bad trade-off, I suppose.

Anyway, it might have been an avocado.

One reason I wanted to start writing here again is, I MISS everything. So many of the things I've loved have gone, gone forever, and this makes me sad. Like Battlebots. And Martin Gramatica. And that shirt I used to wear. Y'know. Even the curse is gone - I don't miss it, I'm just sayin'. Changes! Scary! Fast! So much has changed from 5 years ago, much of it good, but there's still enough missing to be a bit upsetting, eh? So I am trying to collect as many things as possible that are still here. Like this blog, bless its little bloggy heart. For one scary moment I thought I'd lost it - I thought google had eaten it! - but thank God it is still here. *hugs*

I don't know how much I will update, or what I'll write about, but it's nice to have this little part of me back. The good AND the bad, it's the fundamental interconnectedness of all things. Yes, I still quote Douglas Adams. :D Though, my Douglas Adams group on Yahoo is gone, as is my HP group. I don't even know if I miss these things so much as I miss them being there. I wonder what all those people are doing now. Do they ever think, whatever happened to that group? Or do other people move on properly from things and it's just me who ends up missing them? Heck, even I left most everything for lj. But I came back. I always seem to come back, when I can. When whatever I was searching for is, miraculously, still there.

Livejournal gives me pretty graphics, but this gives me my soul.

Y HELO THAR

I'm baaaack!

Dang well it's been a coon's age, hasn't it? How've you been, old friend? (I have no idea what the age of a coon is, btw. Most sayings make no sense whatsoever.) Anyway, Livejournal ate my soul for a while but I think I've gotten it back, albeit slightly chewed. Which isn't to say I'm not still on lj - I've just found there are some things I don't want to share on lj. Y'know, with *dundundun* people! Also, I missed this place. Which is of course evident by my being gone so long they sold my blog to Google, or something. hmmm. yes. Well anyway, I'm back now and happy to be here!

Things that have changed since I first started writing/last wrote on this blog:

I now say things like, "Y HELO THAR." But don't worry, I don't do it often.

When I started here (5 years ago!!) I was blonde, then I was redhead, then brown, then brown w/highlights, and now I'm blonde again. *sings* It's the ciiiircle of liiiiiife...

I loved Martin Gramatica. I still love Martin Gramatica, but since he's disappeared from football I'm finding it more difficult. However, he is superior to a very large basketball player, apparently. http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/2007/06/30/martin-gramatica-stronger-than-kevin-durant/

I moved away from WV, and have become a huge WVU fan. Freaky, huh?

The Red Sox won the World Series. Again. :D

I still stay up all night, and straight on til morning.

Well probably many more relevant things have changed besides my haircolor and college football team, but... oh hell, it's me. They probably haven't. :P

Oh one more thing has changed... my layout! My lime has gone! My lovely lime... or avocado. Whatever it was. Anyway, it's gone and I'm sad. I now have a sort of random pink thing, because, PINK! *squee*

So... yeah! *waves*

Yankee news: "Brown, Wright throw off mound."

I swear, I read this as "Brown, Wright thrown off mound."

Headline in Yahoo news today: "Bush says US must remain on offense vs terror."

But if we don't score a touchdown, are we supposed to kick a field goal? And if it's 4th and long, and... oh, never mind.

Funny phrase of the month: Bronze Boggs!

Haha, they booed the Yankees' bat boy. And the strength and conditioning coach. :P

They just gave Mariano Rivera a huge cheer. That rules.

Holy crap, watching the Sox receive their World Series rings in front of the Yankees is even more majestic than I could have imagined. Best moments: the warm receptions for former Sox Derek Lowe and Dave Roberts, and Terry Francona walking onto the field after being hospitalized the last several days.

Johnny Pesky just got his ring to thunderous applause, and I am in tears. Now he is hugging everyone. Ooh- Curtis Leskanic couldn't pitch but DAMN, is he lookin' hot!

Why do they need to know my phone number when I buy underwear at Marshalls? I'm scared.

Awesome line from Stephen King's Red Sox book, "Faithful": "Arguing with a Yankee fan is like arguing with a real estate agent who voted for Ronald Reagan."

Today's weather forecast was, I shit you not, "Brrr."

If you're home during the day, the television industry seems to think you've been inwardly yearning to be either a truck driver or a Mormon. Or possibly a Mormon truck driver.

He's just going to do kickoffs, apparently. Wheeeeee. *coughunlesssomebodydecidesto'roughthekicker'nextSundayhinthintcough*

Excuse me, I seem to need a glass of water.

Gramatica update!

Martin signed with the Colts today. I have no idea what they were thinking, as they won't even be able to see him behind Mike Vanderjagt's big stupid head.

Well hell, never mind.

*goes off for good cry*

It has been a long time since I posted about Martin Gramatica, mostly due to becoming a full-time Pats fan, so what makes me blog about him now? Why, the Save the Chipmunk Campaign, of course!

*clears throat* My friends, you might know Martin missed all 3 of his field goal attempts yesterday (though at least he made both extra points this time). I don't know what's going on with him, but it's clear he needs our support more than ever! It's bad enough the NFL lost Bill after the Celebration Incident, must we lose Martin as well?? So I beseech you, Bucs fans, keep Martin Gramatica in your hearts! Cheer for him as though his job depended on it (which it might)! Keep the faith! Never give up, never surrender! Don't fire til you see the whites of their eyes! Winners never quit, and quitters never... er... something! Insert favourite cliche here!

This message brought to you by the Save the Chipmunk Foundation. Thank you.

Hmm, don't know quite what to do now. I think I'll have to root for the Cubs next year just to restore sanity to my life.

In other news, they've draped a big Red Sox banner across the giant blue bug on the pest control building. Providence = class.

So the way to win a World Series is Dirt Dogs, Idiots, and one bloody sock.

Well, it seems obvious *now*.

How many teams do you think will be playing "Hair Ball" next season? It could get ugly.

My Red Sox haikus:

Each Spring we awake
Summer shapes our hopes and fears
This fall we sleep well.

1918 signs
Lie in New York garbage cans
Next year is this year!

Funny phrase of day, or last night actually: "You ordered a Mendoza!"

But nope, not even that could curse us.

If it's this frickin' easy to win a World Series, why didn't we do it sooner??

Notes from the 2004 WORLD CHAMPION BOSTON RED SOX season:

The Curse is dead. Long live the Curse! The Curse of the A-rod is now upon you, New York. Enjoy!

How could we *not* win this year? The bloody sock, which will likely be the holiest object in the history of Boston (I said holy, not holey. Ha ha). The trade (sorry Nomah, still love ya). The *non*-trades. The eclipse (of the Yankees). My beloved Murphys bringing back long-forgotten "Tessie." Johnny Christ, our savior. God might be a Yankee fan, but Jesus is our lead-off man. The whole thing is like a folk tale. Or religion. It's way beyond baseball, it's history. And I'm so thrilled and honoured to be a part of it.

Teams/athletes that I have made win championships by rooting for them:

Los Angeles Dodgers
Atlanta Braves
UCONN Huskies men's basketball
UCONN Huskies women's basketball
New England Patriots
Bobby Labonte Winston Cup
David Duval British Open
Tampa Bay Bucs (perhaps the most inexplicable)
Ohio State Buckeyes football
New England Patriots again
UCONN men's and women's basketball in the SAME SEASON
BOSTON RED SOX!!! HOLY CRAP!!!

I am a lifelong UCONN fan, and have been rooting for the Red Sox ever since I got into baseball (and to some extent, the Dodgers, growing up in L.A.), and the Pats ever since I got into football. I can't claim to be a long-suffering fan of Atlanta or Tampa Bay or Ohio State, but I did start rooting for each team or athlete listed *several* years before they won. Coincidence??? I promise to start working on the Celtics soon, the only team (other than UCONN football) I root for that I have not seen win. (They won in '88, I think, but I didn't see it so I can't count it.)

Yup, feelin' pretty good about me right now. :D

Final note on season: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will Yankee fans chant "Red Sox suck" next season? Or is the world about to end in a glittering apocalypse? Either way, I am so fucking wicked psyched. Thank you, Red Sox players, organisation, and the entire Red Sox Nation. It is all over now, and all beginning.

Curse: 1918-2004
RIP

Ummm... did something just happen, or something? I seem to have lost my mind.

Bitter Yankee fans are so, so sweet.

In other news, HOLY FREAKING HELL, IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING????????????

Curt Schilling: The Anti-Curse.

Apparently, we had to repay the curse in blood. Who knew?

Thanks Curt!

GO SOX!!!!

And, oh yeah... BELLHORN!!!!

BELIEVE!!!

Ok, I admit it, I stopped believing after attending the Game Three Massacre. But holy mother of crap, we actually did it!!

I have decided to accept Johnny Christ as my personal savior.

I think my favourite part of last night's show was when Buckethead had to leave the stage to adjust his bucket. *nod*

In related news, I am so glad I moved to New England just so I could watch Kevin Millar down that big greasy bucket of chicken.

In other news, 'Shaun of the Dead' was a veddy amusing British flick about people getting their guts ripped out by zombies. "Oh, dear!"

And finally - GO SOX!!! We've got Tessie back, we're ready to go. Let's kick some bootay this year, how bout it??

My bus driver used the phrase "jive turkey" today. I think I can die happy.

I am utterly sick of cynicism, which has been hanging around my neck like an albatross for the last twenty years. (Yes, I was cynical when I was nine. I also drank coffee. And smoked big cigars.) *nods*

No one seemed to have any idea what I was supposed to be, but I did get meowed at, not to mention "Here kitty-kitty-kittied." I can only assume these were compliments.

No, not the worst Halloween in memory.

For Halloween I am dressing as... *drumroll*... Polyjuiced-into-Millicent's-cat!Hermione! I know, I am a genius. *bows* I'm sure they'll be mighty impressed with me at... um... the supermarket. :/ Perhaps I'll go to the pub or someplace later, just to say i did something. (Halloween parties are very much something that happens to Other People.)

So, if you see a girl walking the streets tomorrow in a schoolgirl uniform, cat ears and tail, remember: I'm a Harry Potter character, not a hooker. *nods*

I fricking love that commercial where the pinata comes to life and and chases the little girl and steals her candy.

I am a sick, twisted soul.

Retroactive note to "Thirtysomething": If Gilbert Gottfried thinks you're annoying, you have a serious problem.

Ye gods, I love this VH-1 Eighties Marathon.

Funny Phrase of the Day: I don't think anyone expects you to date Santa Claus! - me, to my mother, on her disgust over the apparent quantity of men her age who have white beards and are jolly. Or something.

Hurrah, Marlins! Could I persuade you to move your franchise to Boston?

Phrase of the day: "Opera scares the bejesus out of me" - me

Go Marlins! Give Yankeemort the old Avada Kedavra! (Golly, I love it when I can mix obsessions.)

FYI: The Yankees will henceforth be known as "Yankeemort," and Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS as "The Game That Must Not Be Named."

In other news, gotta love those Fish and their never-say-die spunk! And how 'bout Jack McKeon's revolutionary idea to actually TAKE OUT THE STARTING PITCHER WHEN HE COULD NO LONGER PITCH??? Have you ever heard of anything so radical? *looks casually in direction of Boston*

...Go Patriots!!!

*nods*

Um... what???

*cries*

Well, there's always Next Year...

*cries more*

A few playoffs notes:

That Mr. Innocent Little Red Pedro Hood look wasn't fooling anyone, buddy! How 'bout you cowboy up and apologise for acting like a spoiled brat?

The Sox hopes for the season are pinned on John Burkett. I use the word "hopes" loosely here.

I am so in awe of the Marlins! As I'm probably the only person outside of Florida who's rooting for them over the Big Blue Cubs Machine, I think I can safely say - Nyaah nyaah nyaah! Cubs fans annoy me. I'm sorry. Taking all their big-ass banners and face paint and attitudes on the road and turning Atlanta and Miami into Chicago South. I just kinda love to see them eat it, sorry! If the Series is Cubs-Yankees I'm boycotting it. I of course can't root for the Evil Empire, and if the Cubs win it will mean that the Sox are now the most futile team in baseball. (The D-rays don't count; they haven't been around long enough.) So... go Fish! Hee hee, I made a bad pun!

One more point of interest: the number of people who called in to ESPN last night to vote on whether the Sox or Yanks would go to the Series was... 1918!!! I totally shit you not! And 75% picked the Sox, too! Woot. Of course, then today happened. :(

Oh, one more thing: I hate Karim fucking Garcia with a passion. That is all.

Last night I took a Red Sox "How much of a die-hard are you?" quiz. I got 22 out of 50, which means I'm a pretty scary die-hard but not totally awe-inspiring. I scored points for having gotten John Wasdin's autograph, travelling hundreds of miles away to watch the Sox on the road, watching headline news for three hours to get game updates, and saying I've named a kid after a player. Because my unborn son will be named "Nomar." Oh yes, he will.

I think I should receive bonus points for the following:

Having a huge crush on little-known ex-pitcher Vaughn Eshelman and knowing we share a birthday

Having a Jim Corsi card, and not even in a Boston uniform!

Having four Brian Daubach cards, i.e., all of them

Thinking Rich "El Guapo" Garces was kind of hot

Making my own Sox t-shirts

FEAR ME!!!

Today I bought six new pairs of underpants, and threw two old pairs away. Just thought you'd like to know.

Straight On Til Morning presents: funny lines from the world of baseball!

"We fell apart like a cheap meatloaf." - Todd Helton on the hapless Rockies

"Maybe the youth might just be stupid enough to pull something like this out!" Josh Beckett, on the Marlins' chances of winning in the playoffs (well, looks like he was half right)

"Todd Walker has the range of a Maine lobster." - newspaper article that was, sadly, correct

In other news, Don Zimmer is one scary-ass Grampa, but Pedro shouldn't have gone medieval on his ass. Bad Pedro! *fwaps Pedro*

Um, well... go Patriots?

Update: Lissa's Bitchin' Dirt Dogs Shirt - 1, Evil Empire - 1

The epic battle rages on!!

Whew. One down, six to go! Lissa's Bitchin' Dirt Dogs shirt - 4, Yankees/Choakland - 0... so far!

Top 5 Baseball Players I Would Like to Shag:

1. Kevin Millar (shiny dome and all)
2. Nomar Garciaparra (still with thick gorgeous locks)
3. Darren Bragg (bad singing has never been so cute)
4. John Smoltz (no hair, no problem)
5. TIE! Johnny Damon/Lance Berkman (sex on a stick/not yummy Red Sox or Braves but hot anyway)

And oh yeah, in other news:

CHOAKLAND!!!!!! MUAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!

Oh my GAWD... I prayed so hard tonight when Johnny Damon got hurt; thank whatever powers that be that he is all right. Now let's hope he can come back to fight the Evil Empire!!!

I have no words about the Braves series, other than I think Kerry Wood is some kind of soul-sucking demon. I mean, how else to explain the Braves' complete lack of life? Oh right... they do this every year. Silly me, I actually thought this year would be different. It's gotten to be a ritual: every October I throw my tomahawk into the closet in disgust and every April I unearth it, optimism renewed and disappointment conveniently forgotten.

Funny phrase of day: "It's the playoffs, there's no time for vegetables!!" - moi

I'm a Blogger in a world of LiveJournalers! *cries*

When I was first looking to start an online journal I tried LJ, and was cut tragically short when informed I had to have a "friend" and get a "code" to start one. As I don't know anyone, this was a bit of a sticker. I mean, what the fuck is up with that "Away with thee, codeless one!" cliquey-ass mentality? I just wanted to fucking write, not beg for codes like the Little Match Girl.

Then I discovered Blogspot, and my independent spirit soared! Like a bird! Wheeee!
In summary, Blogger rules, and LJ can go do something rude to itself.

AGGGH!!! What is wrong with the Braves??? Did someone slip Devil Ray Serum into their Gatorade? Bah!

In other news, I saw NOMAAAAH kiss his bat on Sportscenter tonight. Note to self: move to Boston, learn how to Transfigure self into Louisville Slugger.

Okay, so here's where I think I went wrong in filling out my "eharmony.com" personality profile. For "List the three things you are most thankful for," I wrote, in this order, "music, coffee, my cat." Clearly they were looking for something along the lines of "my family, my health, and the way the sun rises so gloriously each morning and sets equally as gloriously in the evening! Wheee! I'm so happy happy happy!" I see my mistake now. I'm surprised my telling the truth instead of giving a Miss America answer didn't make their system break down entirely.

Whoever said "The truth shall set you free" has obviosuly never tried filling out a personality profile.

Note: Nothing wrong with family or health, or the sun, for that matter. It's just, have a little creativity instead of saying what you think you're supposed to say, or using cliches to mask shallowness. I refuse to believe that everyone really speaks in embroidered pillows.

"Reality - the other white meat"

*snickers*

I had a good one and I forgot it. Dammit! DAMMIT ALL! And wait... if there is no reality, how do I know the shirt would be real? Maybe I'd be naked! AGH!!! *collapses under weight of own convoluted thinking and dies, thus eliminating need for t-shirts*

"Reality - don't believe the hype"

"Reality is the root of all evil"

"Reality isn't real"

"Reality is a figment of my imagination"

(Everyone creates their own reality. To assume that there is just one reality is absurd. I believe this is the root of that evilest of evils... conformity! *dun dun dun* I'm not really trying to wax philosophical in the wee hours of the morning. I was, in fact, attempting to come up with a snarky phrase to put on a T-shirt. So, in short, have discovered startling possible connection between philosophy and T-shirts. And some people are SLEEPING!! Ha ha, suckers. *laughs*)

So anyway, back to t-shirt. I want something that clearly expresses my disdain for "reality" yet doesn't sound too...er... pithy. "I escaped from reality and all I got was this lousy t-shirt." Uh.

"Reality - the great lie" Mff. Melodramatic. That one should come with canned spooky X- Files music, methinks.

"I don't believe in reality" Hmm... not too bad.

Well, at least I have plenty of time to mull it over, as I'm making my NOMAAAAH!! shirt first. Baseball definitely doesn't count as reality, just for the simple fact that I never see guys that look like that in real life. Where do they come from and where do they go? Are they always at fancy glittering parties in the sky that I don't get invited to? My theory is that they magically appear on the field, a la Field of Dreams, then fade away.

Perhaps should just buy "Baseball is life, the rest is just details" shirt and be done with it. Would have to cultivate beer gut though.

So I took that "eharmony. com" match thingy they're always advertising, and was informed that I am "unmatchable," to which I said "Fuck you, assmat." Perhaps that is why. I have ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES!! Muahaha.

Great fancy fuck, the Braves bullpen sucks. Was last night "let's see how high Jung Bong's ERA can go night" or something? Sheesh. *disgustment* For the first time in my life, I'm finding comfort in the fact that I'm also a Red Sox fan. I know this feeling will be short-lived, but I'll savour it while it lasts.

Might have finally reached understanding of peoples' ever-puzzling predilection toward socialising/outgoingness. Can it be that other people feel about each other how I feel about cats? When I see a cat, whether it's mine or not, my immediate impulse is to call it to me and pet it. Perhaps when other people see people, their immediate impulse is to go up and talk to them. I of course do not have this impulse, so I've come to the conclusion that my only hope socially is to pretend people are cats. I wonder how many random strangers I could freak out by scratching behind their ears, rubbing their tummies and saying "That's a GOOD KITTY!"

Wait, the idea was to engage people, not frighten them. I'll get this stuff right one of these days.

See, I think there's such a thing as social energy. Kind of like physical stamina. Each person has a certain amount to expend before their reserves are exhausted. Most people seem to have quite a lot. I seem to have, er, none. So when I have to expend any I'm actually dipping into something else, say, my reserve of sanity or the little part of my brain that tells me not to set things on fire. Naturally, this could have dire consequences. At the very least it leaves me with *negative* social energy, knocking me out and requiring me to go lie down for a bit.

I must point out how deep my love is for the new superhero-type music that plays at Turner Field when a Brave hits a homerun. Homerun superhero music = awesome. But why does the Braves bullpen suck so very, very much (besides Smoltzy, of course!!)?? They should play evil supervillain music when one of these guys slinks out. I have christened it... The Bullpen That Must Not be Named. So it is written. So it shall be.

The Darth Vader music would work nicely, by the way.

Funny phrase of day: "Modified Stableford Scoring System." OK, so it's not really all that funny. But you hear it fourteen times a day and it starts to get kinda funny. Or annoying. One of those.

Bargle. Toff. I have nothing to say.

But I am overjoyed that our President has a really big belt buckle. Because if there's one quality I look for in a world leader, it's commonality with truck drivers. Convoy, anyone?

I'm trying to think of another way to work "balls" into a post, but I haven't thought of one yet.

Today whilst pounding the pavement (okay, just sort of shuffling along actually), I encountered some interesting chalk writing on the sidewalk. Intrigued, I stopped to read it. Bits of it were smudged, but I was able to make out something about "clip my balls." Hmm, did I really expect a message of salvation? This reminds me of Holden Caulfield, finding the "fuck you" someone had scrawled on the museum wall. It's so true, in this world someone will always come along and write "fuck you" under your nose. Either that or "clip my balls."

I made my own Snapey bookmark out of a greeting card today, whee! I thought about getting all arts and crafts-y and putting purple glitter on it, then realised that glitter, along with tinsel and vampires, is something you should never let willingly into your home because it will inevitably be a big pain in the neck.

Pain in the neck. Hee hee. Pun totally intended. I am evil! I am invincible! I am... sitting on a chair in front of a computer. Yeah.

There was a fellow with bright blue hair playing in the BC Open. This means one of two things: There is such a thing as "Golf Punk," or he had a bet going, a la Lou Piniella.

A couple random things I've learned:

1. When a band does "Sweet Home Alabama" in a bar, someone will inevitably yell out "Whoo!" during the opening notes. Or maybe it's just one guy, who travels from town to town in support of mediocre Lynyrd Skynyrd covers. The universe works in mysterious ways.

2. When someone says "You're weird," you should take it as a compliment, cause even if it isn't, it probably is. (Please disregard this if you are a serial killer or similar. Hmm... do I have any readers in prison? If so, please don't send fan mail. Also, I'm a man.)

*whisper* I'm not really a man. Just don't tell that to "Crazy Willie."

Weekend Round-up (even though it's only Saturday, I am confident that nothing will happen tomorrow):

Best current baseball player name: Coco Crisp

Best baseball player name that I made up: Rusty Nail Jones

Best names of British Open golfers I have never heard of: S.K. Ho, Andrew Oldcorn, Bradley Dredge.

The new Iron Chef USA with Shatner as Chairman Kaga was amusing. The crowd reminded me somewhat of a typical Battlebots crowd. And my favourite ever IC line was uttered by Bruce Vilanch: "This makes me glad I'm such a big fat pig!" Perhaps not quite as poetic as "Evangelist of Broccoli," but... it also featured an (extremely hot) challenger riding in on a motorcycle with his (extremely gorgeous) dark hair blowing out behind him. No one on the old Iron Chef could really be considered "hot," unless you're taking into account Chairman Kaga's probable body temperature under all those ruffles and capes and things. Even though an "Iron Chef American" was a tough sell for me (What's he going to make? Hot dogs? Creamed chipped beef on toast?), he ended up making lots of crabalicious yummies and beat out aforementioned Hot Guy. All in all, very entertaining, and certainly better than life. *nods*

I will be eternally grateful to this evening's installment of "The Amazing Race" for providing me with the phrase, "We better get going, the clowns are on our ass."

Really, really funny word discovered while rereading fifth Harry Potter book: Kerfuffle. I promise to use it often but wisely.

And yes, it does have a phrase that sounds like "gin and tonic." ;)

I made a spectacularly futile attempt at joining the human race today, once again proving that I am not actually human but an unknown being from a distant planet with lots of q's and x's in its name.

Number of times I've looked at a Braves player on TV and said, "Hey now, you're an all-star!": 7. Yes, I'm a Big Dork. ^-^

You're perfect for Severus! You two are like two
halves of orange! If you meet him, you'll spend
your quiet and dark life in dungeons, making
poisons,and...


Have you got any chances for a relationship with Snape?
brought to you by Quizilla


Yay!! I mean, now that my beloved Sirius is gone, I have to move on, right? It wouldn't be healthy to sit around and mope. It would be much healthier to spend my days in a durk fusty dungeon with Severus!! Whoo!!!