Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Funny phrase of day: "It's the playoffs, there's no time for vegetables!!" - moi

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

I'm a Blogger in a world of LiveJournalers! *cries*

When I was first looking to start an online journal I tried LJ, and was cut tragically short when informed I had to have a "friend" and get a "code" to start one. As I don't know anyone, this was a bit of a sticker. I mean, what the fuck is up with that "Away with thee, codeless one!" cliquey-ass mentality? I just wanted to fucking write, not beg for codes like the Little Match Girl.

Then I discovered Blogspot, and my independent spirit soared! Like a bird! Wheeee!
In summary, Blogger rules, and LJ can go do something rude to itself.

Saturday, September 13, 2003

AGGGH!!! What is wrong with the Braves??? Did someone slip Devil Ray Serum into their Gatorade? Bah!

In other news, I saw NOMAAAAH kiss his bat on Sportscenter tonight. Note to self: move to Boston, learn how to Transfigure self into Louisville Slugger.

Thursday, September 11, 2003

Okay, so here's where I think I went wrong in filling out my "eharmony.com" personality profile. For "List the three things you are most thankful for," I wrote, in this order, "music, coffee, my cat." Clearly they were looking for something along the lines of "my family, my health, and the way the sun rises so gloriously each morning and sets equally as gloriously in the evening! Wheee! I'm so happy happy happy!" I see my mistake now. I'm surprised my telling the truth instead of giving a Miss America answer didn't make their system break down entirely.

Whoever said "The truth shall set you free" has obviosuly never tried filling out a personality profile.

Note: Nothing wrong with family or health, or the sun, for that matter. It's just, have a little creativity instead of saying what you think you're supposed to say, or using cliches to mask shallowness. I refuse to believe that everyone really speaks in embroidered pillows.

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

"Reality - the other white meat"


I had a good one and I forgot it. Dammit! DAMMIT ALL! And wait... if there is no reality, how do I know the shirt would be real? Maybe I'd be naked! AGH!!! *collapses under weight of own convoluted thinking and dies, thus eliminating need for t-shirts*
"Reality - don't believe the hype"

"Reality is the root of all evil"

"Reality isn't real"

"Reality is a figment of my imagination"

(Everyone creates their own reality. To assume that there is just one reality is absurd. I believe this is the root of that evilest of evils... conformity! *dun dun dun* I'm not really trying to wax philosophical in the wee hours of the morning. I was, in fact, attempting to come up with a snarky phrase to put on a T-shirt. So, in short, have discovered startling possible connection between philosophy and T-shirts. And some people are SLEEPING!! Ha ha, suckers. *laughs*)

So anyway, back to t-shirt. I want something that clearly expresses my disdain for "reality" yet doesn't sound too...er... pithy. "I escaped from reality and all I got was this lousy t-shirt." Uh.

"Reality - the great lie" Mff. Melodramatic. That one should come with canned spooky X- Files music, methinks.

"I don't believe in reality" Hmm... not too bad.

Well, at least I have plenty of time to mull it over, as I'm making my NOMAAAAH!! shirt first. Baseball definitely doesn't count as reality, just for the simple fact that I never see guys that look like that in real life. Where do they come from and where do they go? Are they always at fancy glittering parties in the sky that I don't get invited to? My theory is that they magically appear on the field, a la Field of Dreams, then fade away.

Perhaps should just buy "Baseball is life, the rest is just details" shirt and be done with it. Would have to cultivate beer gut though.

So I took that "eharmony. com" match thingy they're always advertising, and was informed that I am "unmatchable," to which I said "Fuck you, assmat." Perhaps that is why. I have ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES!! Muahaha.
Great fancy fuck, the Braves bullpen sucks. Was last night "let's see how high Jung Bong's ERA can go night" or something? Sheesh. *disgustment* For the first time in my life, I'm finding comfort in the fact that I'm also a Red Sox fan. I know this feeling will be short-lived, but I'll savour it while it lasts.

Saturday, September 06, 2003

Might have finally reached understanding of peoples' ever-puzzling predilection toward socialising/outgoingness. Can it be that other people feel about each other how I feel about cats? When I see a cat, whether it's mine or not, my immediate impulse is to call it to me and pet it. Perhaps when other people see people, their immediate impulse is to go up and talk to them. I of course do not have this impulse, so I've come to the conclusion that my only hope socially is to pretend people are cats. I wonder how many random strangers I could freak out by scratching behind their ears, rubbing their tummies and saying "That's a GOOD KITTY!"

Wait, the idea was to engage people, not frighten them. I'll get this stuff right one of these days.