Sunday, December 21, 2008


Okay, I admit I got sucked into the sparkly teen vampire bonanza that is TWILIGHT. I knew it was crap, but in the way that a giant sugary jelly doughnut is crap. NOMNOMNOM. But now, I am officially sick of it and feeling a bit ranty. Especially when I read lj. It's all EDWARD CULLEN and EDWARD/BELLA which I realize is mostly what the books are but... AGGGGHHHH.

Edward is BORING. He is boring and one-dimensional and has nothing going on other than obsessing on Bella. Jacob is so much more interesting! Bella is more interesting when she's with him, riding motorcycles and such! Edward is so over-protective I would imagine life would be very boring, cooped up in a house all the time. Even if it is the Cullen MANSION and even if Edward is all HAWT and SPARKLEH.

No amount of sparkles make up for lack of personality. I know, I've tried!

So, yeah. I'm over Twilight. It's just everywhere, and it's making me angry.

On the brightside, the Pats are playing in a snowstorm, which is always good times. The fans are throwing snow in the air and the Pats are winning 14-0. I like when these kind of happy memories don't change, they just keep on adding to the happy memory pot.

I haven't looked out the window. I'm not going to, I don't think.

I opted for the spring green laptop. It was just... calling to me, like spring and trees and birdies.

~ L.
Okay, I'm feeling better. Even though the internet is DEAD. WTF?? Isn't half the country covered in snow? Though I think a lot of the Clanners are on the west coast, so they're probably out having fun in the California sun. Well, it might be cold there too. But for instance, probably nobody in CA's car looks like a big sad white hunchbacked thing sitting in their driveway.

One reason I'm feeling better: I sort of have this feeling something is gonna happen. Then when nothing happens, I feel bored and depressed again. But, the feeling persists! I don't know why.

Also, I just found out I'm getting a new laptop AND portable DVD player for Christmas!! Now my hardest life decision is whether to actually choose a PINK laptop or be a bit more sophisticated in my choice. I'm not sure I can resist the pink. :P But those are the two things I really wanted right now, besides a newer car, and a life.


Shiny laptop though!!!

I'll be making another post, on another subject, so this one ends here!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I'm watching a movie with some creepy dead psychic guy and a bunch of reanimated corpses. And sorority girls, of course! Why do I watch movies like this?

It has Meg Tilly in a ruffly 80s sweater, so that's good.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Spent part of the evening reading old posts in an inactive yahoo group I used to manage. Constructive eh? Apparently I used to say things like "vanished into the inky void." Good to know. Then I checked another group (Douglas Adams) and the latest post was "check out my new boobies!" And then another group (Letters to Cleo) and guess what?? NEW BOOBIE CHICK HAD STRUCK AGAIN. Gyeeah. I hate spambots. It's just... sad. So sad!!

Why is everything I love gone?

Apparently no one plays CL anymore, either. Maybe they all play WoW. I don't want to play WoW. I want to play CL. Though probably, one of these days I'll try WoW from desperation and fall in love with it and then end up missing it when everyone else moves on to something else. STAY PUT PEOPLE! I MEAN IT. DON'T MAKE ME COME IN THERE.

I dislike change. I like CAPSLOCKY RAGE.

Trace Adkins does a song called "You're Gonna Miss This" and it's like the truest thing EVER. You really will end up wanting everything back so enjoy it while you have it, I guess. Or try not to let it go in the first place, if you can. Life experience isn't replaceable, nor is time, so don't take a moment for granted.

bah. I'm all introspectivey. I hate when that happens. I'm entirely too sober for this.

I have a hankerin' to watch Hobgoblins, and so I shall.

Frankie, Sniffles, Bounce-Bounce, and the Claw.
I don't understand vacuuming at 9:30 in the morning, but then I don't understand anything at 9:30 in the morning except spacing out in front of the compy with a cup of coffee. I'm not usually even up at 9:30 but it's bottle recycling day. Very noisy. And then someone started vacuuming!!

I don't understand mornings.

Also, come to think of it, this building has hardwood floors. What are they vacuuming?? I hope they have like a giant area rug or something and they're not vacuuming their furniture. That's... disturbing. Very neat people are worrisome, like they would vacuumn ME if I let them. Or was in a very deep sleep. *shudders*

I signed back up for Clan Lord yesterday, since it's available for windows now. I can only play on my mom's computer, for some reason. But I'm glad to have it back. I sort of missed it. I always miss everything and it's nice when something's still around, waiting for me. There was hardly anyone on though, I hope it's not always like that.

The Big Bang Theory is on tonight, which is my new favorite show ever. I heart nerds. Sometimes I wish my life was more nerdly.

I really have to cut my nails. I can hardly type.

Other than that, everything pretty much sucks. I'd love to think I could start writing in here again, but I seem to have mostly lost my muse. Maybe I should look under the couch.

your early morning pal (zoinks!)
~ L.

Monday, November 17, 2008


The Woo Girls!! I thought I was the only one who noticed the disturbing trend of young women who are supposedly friends calling each other bitch and skank and whore, but someone else noticed too! Thank you, How I Met Your Mother, for validating my disdain.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

God I wish I could have that dream every night.

Everyone always says they're happy and fine, but I wonder if anyone really is?

Friday, September 05, 2008

My favorite place to be is lost. Like driving down a back road and you don't really know where you are but you want to keep going forever kind of lost. It feels right. Maybe because I don't really belong anywhere right now. But the open road... that belongs to everyone.

Do I have nothing, or nothing to lose?

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

My favorite sound is the train late at night, riding out of town.

Every night I wait for that low, distant whistle to take a part of me with it, out into the world. I wonder where my train-self goes. I wish I could go with her.

Monday, July 28, 2008

I keep reinventing myself
because I never wanted to reinvent myself at all.
I wanted to already be who I was
but I never was.
You see?

It all makes perfect sense I swear!!

Friday, March 21, 2008


I forgot I actually had a place where I can say whatever the hell I want! LJ is full of assholes. I am so sick of other people and their opinions. Ok so that's probably some of my own issues speaking. I am prone to feeling stupid and out of place. But when I disagree with someone, unless they're a bigot or something, I'm respectful of them. And when people disagree with me with BRAVADO, like basically making me feel like a retard, that's when I want to crawl in a hole. This? Here? Me crawling in a hole. I know that I don't treat people the way I don't want to be treated. I'd feel guilty. It would keep me up at night that I might have made someone feel small.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Has it really been this long??

Have I really had nothing to write about all this time? *thinks* Well today for some reason when I was driving to the store I read Smithfield Ave. as "Shithead Ave." and I was like, what a strange name for a road! So, that happened.

I am needing an escape from lj and those girls I wrote about in my last post. The soullessly foul-mouthed fake lesbians. (Why soullessly foul-mouthed? Because they do it with no passion. Swearing should mean something, it should emphasize something! But they say fuck like you'd say potato, and it takes all the interest out of the word. Not to mention what it does to the potato!)

Anyway, I had one of those girls on my friends list and she "unfriended" me. (Horrible word!) And I was relieved. I was never gonna call her a ho and tell her to come over and fuck me like all her other friends, so you could see why it would be a bit of a relief. But like anything involving social contact or lack thereof, it also made me a little sad. Because it's like proof. You see, I WANT to be wrong about myself. I want the reality to be, "you think you don't fit in but you really do! We love you even though you are apparently Amish or something!" But no... I really don't fit. And I'm also not Amish. But I guess I might as well be. Well I like being wholesome, so fuck 'em. LOL IRONY... also, proper usage of "fuck." Fuck with meaning!!

I guess on that note, I'm outta here.
~ Your barn-raising pal

Monday, February 11, 2008

Sometimes I loathe livejournal. I can't believe the way other women talk to each other!! It's all swearing and sex and mock insults and lesbianism. For example, "c'mere cuntbag so I can sit on your face! I love u!" I'd type more examples but, I'm still recovering from that one. And they all do it! What the hell planet have I landed on? Is this like Planet of the Apes where they discover it was earth all the time and YOU BLEW IT UP, YOU BASTARDS!?

I mean I know it's just a jokey way of talking but I find it unsettling. I don't think calling each other bitches and ho's and cunts ALL THE TIME, even in jest, is at all attractive, and I really don't get the fake lesbian I-wanna-sex-you-up stuff. I have no problem with actual lesbians, but... ??? I just can't imagine talking to another woman like that. I don't even talk to men like that and I actually find them sexy! oy vey. Yet another reason why all my friends are men. Or robots.

um, forget I said the part about the robots. :/

I'm just really tired of lj. It makes me feel even more alone than I probably am. I needs my pretty graphics though. Curse my love of shiny things!!

~L., confuzzled as always

Thursday, February 07, 2008

My new computer background! I'm gonna miss the one I had (Mike, Joel, Crow, and Servo on the SoL, from Soultaker) but right now that is making me think of the offseason and that is bad bad bad!! Saturday is "TRUCK DAY" and i wish I could stowaway! haha how awesome would that be... hitch a ride down to FL with all the batting equipment and stuff, like a baseball hobo. yup that's me!

That's all I got... it's like slushing out today. It's like living in a slurpee machine. without y'know, the blue goop... ok I'm done.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

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oh random internet quiz, that might just be the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me! *is touched*

I miss writing... more specifically, I miss having something to say. I miss being honest. I know I'm gonna feel better when baseball starts, and winter's over, but... I wish I didn't feel so damn DEAD this time of year! A little spark of life would be nice. It's like, I've run out of everything and I'm waiting to be restocked. Like in Hitchhiker's Guide, where the ship is grounded for hundreds of years because they were waiting on the lemon-scented napkins, or whatever? Yeah, it's kinda like that.


~Your lemon-scented pal, L.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Dear New England Patriots,

Thank you for an awesome season and a heckuva fun ride. Nothing can take away the amazing journey we as Pats fans had this year, nope, not even a Super Bowl loss. Be proud, boys... most of us don't ever get that close to history.

Thanks and much love,
a fan


(also, somewhere Larry Csonka is happy and that's a little bit of a good thing, right?)

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I downloaded some "normal" music today (like, top 40 stuff everyone listens to) and I discovered something: when I find some of that music I LIKE, I feel really good. I actually feel more connected to the universe. as long as I never download any Britney Spears or Ashlee Simpson or, y'know, Lindzee Twatface or whatever, I think I'm safe. (They all have those names that end with an "eee!" sound, for whatever reason.)

Sunday, January 27, 2008

So... I haven't been doing very well lately. And I haven't written about it, because I feel I owe it to, well, myself, to write about the ups and downs of life with at least a dash of humor, and I feel utterly humorless. That is a terrible way to feel. I thrive on humor. I thrive on always being a little step above the world because part of me is cocking an eye, and laughing.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

I don't know what's more sad... that I'm watching something called My Big Redneck Wedding, or that I just paused it when I went to the bathroom. durp. Well the groom has a barstool on wheels... it's awesome!... sorta.

bride to minister: Where were you ordained at?
minister: Uh, the state prison.
I'm watching the old American Gladiators, featuring Saint Larry Csonka. I used to watch this show religiously, so now it makes for wonderful nostalgia (with the added bonus of Larry Csonka humor courtesy of MST). I watched the show so much I actually remember all the contestants. No, that's not sad, that's AWESOME.

Other than that... nothing. My life is made up of a lot of nothing right now. Almost as much nothing as The Starfighters, but without the sexy refueling scenes. So... more nothing, I suppose. Well, I'm sure something will happen eventually. It will be very, very good when January is over. I hate this month.

Of course, I hate February too. But March... ah, March! March is the start of all that is good and right with the world.

Well, I am now about to watch something called 20 Greatest Redneck Moments, followed by something called My Big Redneck Wedding. That 'bout sums it up. yup.

~ Love, Cindy Lou (my redneck name!)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


That's what it is doing out right now. It is bleching. But, I am snugabug at home with piles of chicken, so that's all that really matters. And I just had a long bubblebath with a tequila sunrise, closed my eyes and pretended it was summerish, so that was nice too. <3

Go pats! go celts! go sox! HOORAY FOR EVERYONE!!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

A while back I ranted about this girl who was being a total bitch for absolutely no reason. She finally got called out on it and made an apology post. Except at the end she said, "you know I don't care if I'm a bitch, at least I'm upfront and honest!" Which doesn't sound like much of an apology and is also NOT TRUE. And then, this friend of hers piped up saying "You don't have to apologize for anything, at least you're not weak and 'phony nice' like everyone else," and then quoted Morrissey of all people, saying "the world is designed for bores" or similar.

Allow me to rebut.

1. "BITCH" is not a viable personality option. It is an unfortunate mood swing. If you think talking crap to everyone makes you upfront and honest, that simply means you are full of crap. Being a bitch does not make you "strong" or "real or "cool," it makes you every bit as one-dimensional as the "phony nice" people you hate so much.

2. "NICE" does not always equal phony, and it sure as hell doesn't equal weak. In fact, it gets harder and harder to be a genuinely nice person in this world, esp. when there are so many cynics who don't even think there is such a thing. No one should be "nice" all the time just like no one should be bitchy all the time. But "nice" IS a viable personality option, which to me just means kindness and fairness and rationality is your default position, rather than "FDHFHBDBEUHDEBUEHBFUCKYOU!!FNDOUUEYDFUCK!" And guess what? If you're usually kind and fair and rational, people will be more likely to listen to you if you're genuinely upset about something. If you're always flying off the handle, it's a bit like the boy who cried wolf, isn't it?

3. Morrissey also said, "It's so easy to laugh. It's so easy to hate. It takes strength to be gentle and kind." I would give my RIGHT FUCKING NUT to have had the guts to reply to her with that, to throw her own dear depressed British popstar back in her face. Especially since it's exactly what I was just saying, but no one would listen to me saying it.

4. Nice, mean, good, bad. Whatever. To quote Tom Servo (yes I'm quoting a gumball machine robot puppet, SHADDUP) on his reply to "Only the good die young:"
"Most of us are morally ambiguous, which explains our random dying patterns."

Wednesday, January 16, 2008


Getting email from lj addressed to "mrs. rowsdower."

I am quite possibly the most easily amused person on the planet. :P

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Ok it's that time.

We are off to see the Pats (hopefully) beat the fierce Jags. I am wearing pink glitter! You might say, hey that's a bit excessive, one should at least wait until the super bowl to bring out the glitter, but I say no. Carpe diem baby! Glitter and victory!

~til later <3

Thursday, January 10, 2008

The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post it in your own journal.


Ooer that was fun. I can't stop saying "ooer," i've been saying it all week! Ooer! Help! shut me off please, there's a little switch in the middle of my back. thank you.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Soooo last night I took a break from Canada and went to... Japan! Yes, it was the thrilling first installment of the Fugitive Alien series. Will I be singing "he tried to kill me with a forklift" all day long? Likely. I want to start my "watching every ep in order" dealie, but I have to muster up some... whatever, mustery stuff... to get into season K. I've only seen one ep, and it wasn't bad. The DVD quality was better than expected (though I've heard that's not the case for all of them), and the segments were goofily entertaining (mostly for the squeetasticness of young!Joel & Trace), but the MOVIE! The riffing is more far-spaced and I think the movies are WORSE. oy. So maybe I'll just start with the Crawling Eye and end with season K. And watch Final Sacrifice 47 times inbetween, of course. *nod*

I also watched Sunday's TAR episode, and I miss Kint and Vyxen so bad! They are without a doubt my all-time fave team. I have never seen anything so hilarious as them arriving in Romania in their matching pink and black outfits and proclaiming, "oooo it's so gothy!" Yessss I am sure Romania is quite "gothy." LOL they were comedy gold. And damn fine racers, actually. If only they'd u-turned Horrible Couple instead of Don and whosit, they'd still be in. And the Horrids would be gone!

Also, why were K & V called the "dating goths" but TK and Rachel aren't the "dating hippies," and Nate and Jen (the Horrids) aren't the "dating assholes?"

I also watched the new American Gladiators last night lol. It's pretty good ~ it's really hard!~ but needless to say, I MISS LARRY CSONKA!! (And I thank AG for my even knowing who the hell Larry Csonka is) :P

Well folks, it is 64 DEGREES here today, so as soon as I finish my coffee I am outta here! In flip-flops no less!! hmmm I have a near-inhuman craving for a roast beef sandwich. We're talking Carnivore City here. Perhaps I'll head over to the Beef Barn (yes there really is a place called the Beef Barn, and it really looks like a barn, and there's a cafe next to it called Coffee and Cream, and I'll just let you use your imagination on that one).

On second thought, Woonsocket defies imagination. And should probably be renamed to Carnivore City.

byeeeeeeeee! <3

Monday, January 07, 2008

peeeee esssss ~

You know what is the BEST feeling? That sort of whoooosh! feeling you have when you've escaped from something. Like, in my case, December. January has been this whole sort of whoooosh!! feeling so far. I'm freeeeee! And spring is coming!! And baseball!!! It helps that it was like 58 degrees today. But I might even make it through another snowstorm now, because I have momentum towards happiness. The world has a sort of lightness to it.

And, let's face it, there's nothing quite as exciting as a narrow escape. ;)

~ love, Moose Lips
From the department of the very, very wrong:

I passed by a church billboard today which proclaimed, "God loves you, shower Him with love this Sunday." Which I, sadly, read as "God loves you, shower with Him this Sunday."

*goes to hell*

*in a handbasket*

Hell aside, I feel oddly buoyant today. All you have to do to be happy is surround yourself with things you love, all the time.
Come back here, syrup rustler!!

Soooo I watched Final Sacrifice again last night. In its entirety. Yes, I might just be mentally ill. But!! Y'know when you just want to eat poptarts, or ramen, or grilled cheese, and you can't bring yourself to eat anything else? And it's mostly nutrionally empty, but it fills you up anyway? Yeah, it's kind of like that. And I still hold that it's the best movie MST ever did. Not that that's saying, well, anything, but at least it has a plot and mostly makes sense and stuff. Except the part where Canadian Villain Garth Vader gets shot in the butt by Troy and bursts into flames. I don't think I'll ever understand that one. Or why his explodeyness makes the idol fall over with that amusing "ooooer" sound Mike & the bots provide.

Melissa, fighting crime throughout southwestern Alberta

Sunday, January 06, 2008


I have started not updating again. Or... stopped updating. Yeah.

I just want it to be spring now. I keep buying pretty pastel-y springy things in the hopes that it is actually spring, but it is not. The icicles melted off my car, so that's a plus.

This year I'm gonna watch every ep of MST3K, season K through 10, in order. That is, if I can ever stop watching Final Sacrifice. I don't have all the season K's but I have everything else, and I think it shall be fun! *rubs hands together gleefully*

Also, people who stay up late are more fun. Just a random observation.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy New Year!!

So I am ridiculously obsessed with Final Sacrifice. Seriously. Rowsdower has a stupid name and is an alcoholic with hockey hair and he is still cooler than you. I am so in love with this movie it hurts.