Thursday, October 30, 2003

For Halloween I am dressing as... *drumroll*... Polyjuiced-into-Millicent's-cat!Hermione! I know, I am a genius. *bows* I'm sure they'll be mighty impressed with me at... um... the supermarket. :/ Perhaps I'll go to the pub or someplace later, just to say i did something. (Halloween parties are very much something that happens to Other People.)

So, if you see a girl walking the streets tomorrow in a schoolgirl uniform, cat ears and tail, remember: I'm a Harry Potter character, not a hooker. *nods*

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

I fricking love that commercial where the pinata comes to life and and chases the little girl and steals her candy.

I am a sick, twisted soul.

Monday, October 27, 2003

Retroactive note to "Thirtysomething": If Gilbert Gottfried thinks you're annoying, you have a serious problem.

Ye gods, I love this VH-1 Eighties Marathon.

Funny Phrase of the Day: I don't think anyone expects you to date Santa Claus! - me, to my mother, on her disgust over the apparent quantity of men her age who have white beards and are jolly. Or something.

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Hurrah, Marlins! Could I persuade you to move your franchise to Boston?

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Phrase of the day: "Opera scares the bejesus out of me" - me

Go Marlins! Give Yankeemort the old Avada Kedavra! (Golly, I love it when I can mix obsessions.)

Saturday, October 18, 2003

FYI: The Yankees will henceforth be known as "Yankeemort," and Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS as "The Game That Must Not Be Named."

In other news, gotta love those Fish and their never-say-die spunk! And how 'bout Jack McKeon's revolutionary idea to actually TAKE OUT THE STARTING PITCHER WHEN HE COULD NO LONGER PITCH??? Have you ever heard of anything so radical? *looks casually in direction of Boston*

Friday, October 17, 2003

...Go Patriots!!!


Thursday, October 16, 2003

Um... what???


Well, there's always Next Year...

*cries more*

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

A few playoffs notes:

That Mr. Innocent Little Red Pedro Hood look wasn't fooling anyone, buddy! How 'bout you cowboy up and apologise for acting like a spoiled brat?

The Sox hopes for the season are pinned on John Burkett. I use the word "hopes" loosely here.

I am so in awe of the Marlins! As I'm probably the only person outside of Florida who's rooting for them over the Big Blue Cubs Machine, I think I can safely say - Nyaah nyaah nyaah! Cubs fans annoy me. I'm sorry. Taking all their big-ass banners and face paint and attitudes on the road and turning Atlanta and Miami into Chicago South. I just kinda love to see them eat it, sorry! If the Series is Cubs-Yankees I'm boycotting it. I of course can't root for the Evil Empire, and if the Cubs win it will mean that the Sox are now the most futile team in baseball. (The D-rays don't count; they haven't been around long enough.) So... go Fish! Hee hee, I made a bad pun!

One more point of interest: the number of people who called in to ESPN last night to vote on whether the Sox or Yanks would go to the Series was... 1918!!! I totally shit you not! And 75% picked the Sox, too! Woot. Of course, then today happened. :(

Oh, one more thing: I hate Karim fucking Garcia with a passion. That is all.
Last night I took a Red Sox "How much of a die-hard are you?" quiz. I got 22 out of 50, which means I'm a pretty scary die-hard but not totally awe-inspiring. I scored points for having gotten John Wasdin's autograph, travelling hundreds of miles away to watch the Sox on the road, watching headline news for three hours to get game updates, and saying I've named a kid after a player. Because my unborn son will be named "Nomar." Oh yes, he will.

I think I should receive bonus points for the following:

Having a huge crush on little-known ex-pitcher Vaughn Eshelman and knowing we share a birthday

Having a Jim Corsi card, and not even in a Boston uniform!

Having four Brian Daubach cards, i.e., all of them

Thinking Rich "El Guapo" Garces was kind of hot

Making my own Sox t-shirts

Today I bought six new pairs of underpants, and threw two old pairs away. Just thought you'd like to know.

Sunday, October 12, 2003

Straight On Til Morning presents: funny lines from the world of baseball!

"We fell apart like a cheap meatloaf." - Todd Helton on the hapless Rockies

"Maybe the youth might just be stupid enough to pull something like this out!" Josh Beckett, on the Marlins' chances of winning in the playoffs (well, looks like he was half right)

"Todd Walker has the range of a Maine lobster." - newspaper article that was, sadly, correct

In other news, Don Zimmer is one scary-ass Grampa, but Pedro shouldn't have gone medieval on his ass. Bad Pedro! *fwaps Pedro*
Um, well... go Patriots?

Friday, October 10, 2003

Update: Lissa's Bitchin' Dirt Dogs Shirt - 1, Evil Empire - 1

The epic battle rages on!!

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Whew. One down, six to go! Lissa's Bitchin' Dirt Dogs shirt - 4, Yankees/Choakland - 0... so far!

Top 5 Baseball Players I Would Like to Shag:

1. Kevin Millar (shiny dome and all)
2. Nomar Garciaparra (still with thick gorgeous locks)
3. Darren Bragg (bad singing has never been so cute)
4. John Smoltz (no hair, no problem)
5. TIE! Johnny Damon/Lance Berkman (sex on a stick/not yummy Red Sox or Braves but hot anyway)

Monday, October 06, 2003

And oh yeah, in other news:

Oh my GAWD... I prayed so hard tonight when Johnny Damon got hurt; thank whatever powers that be that he is all right. Now let's hope he can come back to fight the Evil Empire!!!

I have no words about the Braves series, other than I think Kerry Wood is some kind of soul-sucking demon. I mean, how else to explain the Braves' complete lack of life? Oh right... they do this every year. Silly me, I actually thought this year would be different. It's gotten to be a ritual: every October I throw my tomahawk into the closet in disgust and every April I unearth it, optimism renewed and disappointment conveniently forgotten.