Friday, July 25, 2003

I'm trying to think of another way to work "balls" into a post, but I haven't thought of one yet.

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

Today whilst pounding the pavement (okay, just sort of shuffling along actually), I encountered some interesting chalk writing on the sidewalk. Intrigued, I stopped to read it. Bits of it were smudged, but I was able to make out something about "clip my balls." Hmm, did I really expect a message of salvation? This reminds me of Holden Caulfield, finding the "fuck you" someone had scrawled on the museum wall. It's so true, in this world someone will always come along and write "fuck you" under your nose. Either that or "clip my balls."

Monday, July 21, 2003

I made my own Snapey bookmark out of a greeting card today, whee! I thought about getting all arts and crafts-y and putting purple glitter on it, then realised that glitter, along with tinsel and vampires, is something you should never let willingly into your home because it will inevitably be a big pain in the neck.

Pain in the neck. Hee hee. Pun totally intended. I am evil! I am invincible! I am... sitting on a chair in front of a computer. Yeah.
There was a fellow with bright blue hair playing in the BC Open. This means one of two things: There is such a thing as "Golf Punk," or he had a bet going, a la Lou Piniella.

A couple random things I've learned:

1. When a band does "Sweet Home Alabama" in a bar, someone will inevitably yell out "Whoo!" during the opening notes. Or maybe it's just one guy, who travels from town to town in support of mediocre Lynyrd Skynyrd covers. The universe works in mysterious ways.

2. When someone says "You're weird," you should take it as a compliment, cause even if it isn't, it probably is. (Please disregard this if you are a serial killer or similar. Hmm... do I have any readers in prison? If so, please don't send fan mail. Also, I'm a man.)

*whisper* I'm not really a man. Just don't tell that to "Crazy Willie."

Saturday, July 19, 2003

Weekend Round-up (even though it's only Saturday, I am confident that nothing will happen tomorrow):

Best current baseball player name: Coco Crisp

Best baseball player name that I made up: Rusty Nail Jones

Best names of British Open golfers I have never heard of: S.K. Ho, Andrew Oldcorn, Bradley Dredge.

The new Iron Chef USA with Shatner as Chairman Kaga was amusing. The crowd reminded me somewhat of a typical Battlebots crowd. And my favourite ever IC line was uttered by Bruce Vilanch: "This makes me glad I'm such a big fat pig!" Perhaps not quite as poetic as "Evangelist of Broccoli," but... it also featured an (extremely hot) challenger riding in on a motorcycle with his (extremely gorgeous) dark hair blowing out behind him. No one on the old Iron Chef could really be considered "hot," unless you're taking into account Chairman Kaga's probable body temperature under all those ruffles and capes and things. Even though an "Iron Chef American" was a tough sell for me (What's he going to make? Hot dogs? Creamed chipped beef on toast?), he ended up making lots of crabalicious yummies and beat out aforementioned Hot Guy. All in all, very entertaining, and certainly better than life. *nods*

Thursday, July 17, 2003

I will be eternally grateful to this evening's installment of "The Amazing Race" for providing me with the phrase, "We better get going, the clowns are on our ass."

Really, really funny word discovered while rereading fifth Harry Potter book: Kerfuffle. I promise to use it often but wisely.
And yes, it does have a phrase that sounds like "gin and tonic." ;)
I made a spectacularly futile attempt at joining the human race today, once again proving that I am not actually human but an unknown being from a distant planet with lots of q's and x's in its name.

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

Number of times I've looked at a Braves player on TV and said, "Hey now, you're an all-star!": 7. Yes, I'm a Big Dork. ^-^

Wednesday, July 02, 2003

You're perfect for Severus! You two are like two
halves of orange! If you meet him, you'll spend
your quiet and dark life in dungeons, making

Have you got any chances for a relationship with Snape?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yay!! I mean, now that my beloved Sirius is gone, I have to move on, right? It wouldn't be healthy to sit around and mope. It would be much healthier to spend my days in a durk fusty dungeon with Severus!! Whoo!!!