Worst song ever?

Well, I hate to burst the positive bubble I've been in, but yesterday I was at the mall and... I heard it. The WORST SONG EVER WRITTEN (ending the tragically short reign of that new Fall Out Boy abomination). This song makes bro country sound like Johnny Cash. This song makes The Chainsmokers sound like Beck. THIS SONG MAKES THAT FUCKING FALL OUT BOY SONG SOUND GOOD. This song... makes me say ridiculous things.

You have been warned.



Yes, a "love" "song" with lyrics about "swiping right" and "tapping twice," and I don't want to live on this planet anymore. :( :( :( I'll be in my haunted treehouse on the moon.

At least the mall trip was successful. I got a sweet Oilers shirt, and in a youth size so it was cheap! #hobbitperks

Worthless Headline of the Day

"Spanx: Kylie Jenner Shares Image Wearing 'Body Shaper' Stockings"

Look, I know I'm beating a dead horse here. I know. But... come on, really?? REALLY??? This has been an actual headline on facebook all day long: "Woman who's famous for being famous puts on tights."

I can't just ignore it because it's there, taunting me, every time I go to look at pictures of cats. Is this really the world we want to live in?

EDIT: When you realize one of your joke tags is actually on the nose this time. Oh, hell. Adding "parody is dead" tag.