Even I didn't think Mean Christians were this bad. http://www.examiner.com/article/politics-of-christian-hate-pray-for-obama-psalm-109-8

These people have absolutely, utterly no shame. *shakes head in disgust* And why do I read anything ever?

Some awesomeness I randomly discovered on youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_ZJJ2T-Zvg&feature=relmfu

This puts into words exactly what I've wanted to say. This shit is why I can't follow politics anymore.

ANGRY MOB: Show us your birth certificate!
OBAMA: *ignores idiots, does presidenty stuff*
PEOPLE WITH BRAINS: Why does he have to show a birth certificate? because he's black? because his name sounds foreign? kinda doubt there'd be an issue if he had, say, an Italian name...
ANGRY MOB: But Obama rhymes with OSAMA, so he must be foreign and Muslim and a terrorist and possibly Hitler!
HISTORIANS AND GEOGRAPHERS: *scratches head*
LOGIC: So a mouse is a house? A cat is a bat? Should I knock on my floor, and feed cheese to my hat?
DR. SUESS: *gets book idea*
ANGRY MOB: rabble rabble rabble socialism taxes we hate gays!
LOGIC: er, what?
ANGRY MOB: *waves flag angrily*
FLAG: *cringes* this wasn't my idea everyone, really... can't we all just get alo... OW!
ANGRY MOB: Obama's making SOCIALIST FLAGS! I have PROOF!
LOGIC *explodes*
FLAG: why couldn't I have been hung in a nice cosy prison like my cousin Larry? Man, he gets all the cushy gigs, while I'm stuck out here with these goons... I need a smoke.
OBAMA: Shiny birth certificate, right here! Sit n spin, mothafuckers! (ok, that's what I wish he'd said...)
ANGRY MOB: It's a FAKE!
PEOPLE WITH BRAINS: So if he produces a birth certificate, it's proof it's a fake and he's a Muslim terrorist, and if he doesn't produce one, it's proof it doesn't exist and he's a Muslim terrorist. Am I getting this straight here? It's almost like you're setting him up to fail no matter what... but that would be unpatriotic, wouldn't it?
ANGRY MOB: *FLAG FLAG FLAG!*
ANGRY SWEATY GUY WEARING BEER-STAINED FLAG SHIRT: You're unpatriotic, smartass, stop disrespecting the flag!
FLAG: Hey maybe I don't have it that bad, I could have gotten that gig... *shudders*
OBAMA: Off to kill bin Laden now, kthxbai
FOX NEWS: George Bush killed bin Laden with his awesome foreign policies!
OBAMA: *ovalofficeheaddesk* (and that is one big solid sucker of a desk, OW :/)
LOGIC: Screw this shit, I'm going to the pub.

Soooo yeah, stupid people are allergic to logic. They REPEL it, because if it was allowed to come in contact with their skin they would break out in hives. This is SCIENCE, people.

And religion isn't really the same thing. Except when it comes to the denial of evolution, there are no FACTS at stake in religion, because the existence or non-existence of God will never be a fact. It's all about faith and you know, whatever floats your boat. Instead, I think some of these people are taking the faith concept from religion and applying it to their other deeply held beliefs, even ones that can be disputed by facts. Your logic only makes my ignorance stronger, sucka! Remember what happened to a gremlin when you got it wet or fed it after midnight? Yeah, kinda like that.



LOGIC: *mumbles* can I have *hic!* 'nother round pleashe... *falls off barstool*
BARTENDER: Sorry, we're closing. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.
LOGIC: what is home, do I have a home anymore...? *passes out in a sad philosophical stupor*

This is your wake up call, America! You're turning logic into a homeless sad drunk. SAVE LOGIC NOW, before it asks you for spare change for the bus!

~~~ THE MORE YOU KNOW ~~~

This dude also brings to light the Mean Christian idea. I really, really like this dude. "Gentle, loving Christians" indeed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAaNg2nvHzs&feature=relmfu

This is not a knock on Christians who truly spread God's love and are positive influences on the world. It's asking why so many seem to be straying from that and becoming hateful, foaming at the mouth rabid wolverines. I think, or maybe hope, the majority of Christians still preach the prevailing message of Christ, which to me is "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and "start loving your fellow man the fuck already, GOD.* I mean, DAD."

*No, I don't know why Jesus sounded like Napoleon Dynamite in my head just then. HE JUST DID OK

But I see too many people in these hate churches, especially young people, to dismiss them as fringe. This is what Christianity is to some people, being God's bully. God's goon. This is not right, and they can't hide behind the excuse of religion, especially when some of their beliefs so closely resemble the fundamentalist Muslims they rail against (without bothering to make the distinction that not all Muslims are fundamentalist.) It's hate, pure and simple, and that will never be a religion no matter what poor deity you slap onto it.



And this one's for you, Congresswoman Bachmann. Happy trails. Now you can devote all your time to praying that your husband keeps not being gay, or whatever. Cause no one could use that prayer power for you know, food or water or shelter or peace or a cure for their brain tumor or anything. Not when there's all that GAY running around!



And on a tangential note...



True, so true. So next time, please don't hire incompetent blowhard jackwagons in the first place. Hindsight may be 20/20, but foresight isn't blind people!

You would not believe how many girls on LJ have usernames like HAYDENSMOMMY2003 and KADENSMOMMA09 and JADENSMOMMIE and well, I think you get the idea. First of all, I'm sure they're all giant MILFS. Have kids? check. Have breasts? check. Congratulations, you are now a fully qualified MILF. Go forth and... milficate.

Second, the supercoolspecial names like KADEN! and MADISON! are no longer super cool and special when EVERYONE HAS THEM. "I want to be original, just like everyone else! Ooh Kaden, only five of my friends used that name already, they're so cool and different, I wanna be cool and different too!" This is also how hipsters happen. Like hipsters, the only way to tell them apart is by punching one of them in the face. Try sporting that shiner "ironically," sunshine.

There's also a fair amount of lj fuckery/mean Christian overlap. Here are some charming userpic messages to brighten your day: "Bitch you're on my shit list," "You are classy with a capital cunt," "One classy bitch," "Sorry I'm prettier than you," "Honey you're a dirty slag," and last but not least, "Christ follower." Yes, they all belong to the same person. I hope she never gets confused and ends up with "Jesus is a dirty slag" or something. Or maybe Christ is her sexy neighbor she follows around with high-powered binoculars? *grasps at anything to try to make the world make sense* Apparently being a Christian is like being a MILF. You just have to say you are one, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

In case this person wasn't confounding enough, she likes... Doctor Who? And Big Bang Theory, and Harry Potter? But but... those are MY things! "Classy bitches" and MILFS and woo girls can't have those things, they have Britney Spears and Jersey Shore and America's Next Top Slag Housewife Dancing with the Stars! Get your mean girl face outta my happy place. :/

This stuff is very prevalent on LJ, for some reason. The "I'm a classy bitch and you are something demeaning that makes you inferior" school of thought. From these girls' journals you'd think they've had really rough lives, hoes and slags and cunts humping their man's leg at every turn, what's a poor classy bitch to do? It's tough out there on the mean streets of *checks*... San Diego. I don't know what happened to turn today's young women so hard, but I'd like very much to go back in time and shoot it into space.

The worst part is I feel like I'm the only one who gives a shit or even notices. Man, I feel old.

BUT I'M NOT OLD. I'M RIGHT, DAMMIT.

This just in: GOD ALSO FUCKING HATES AIR SHOWS. Let this be a warning to all pilots to... something to do with Obama... blah blah spending cuts... praise be to God. Oh wait, it happened in Nevada so it's clearly directed at Harry Reid. God demands a new Senate Majority leader. IT'S ALL SO CLEAR NOW. Fuck you, Michele Bachmann.

Yeah, that non-joke she made about Hurricane Irene really stuck in my craw, and I think I know why. It's a perfect example of my Mean Christian scenario. A decent Christian (or, y'know, human being), especially one RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT, would get up and say "My prayers are with everyone affected by this disaster; you are not alone. Your country is behind you." Something leadery and mature and responsible and respectable and comforting and kind and fucking HUMAN. In other words, everything the spoiled brats of the tea party are not. So Michele, every time disaster strikes I'll be here to mock your uncaring, unchristian, immature rhetoric FOR GREAT JUSTICE.

(As always, my sincere sympathies to the victims and families of this and any disaster. Any jokes I make are directed squarely at the Wicked Witch of the... North Midwest.)

So MSNBC switches to Lockup!, and I am left wanting more details of the crash. I turn to CNN - something about boxing. So in desperation I turn to Fox News, and there's Sean Hannity blaring about OBAMA'S GREEN SCAM. Wow, you got Obama AND the environment* in one scoop! Good for you! Try not to look too smug there folks... oh never mind, too late. Isn't there kind of a bigger story going on right now though? Oh here we go... OBAMA'S COSTLY JOB PLAN! Man, you really nailed him tonight. Hearty butt slaps all around. Thanks for the memories, Sean. *click*

*Why do conservatives hate the environment? Do they breathe different air than the rest of us? Perhaps they all run on robot hearts like Dick Cheney and do not actually have to breathe at all? EXPLAIN PLS. Somehow in their minds environment no longer means "that place we live in and that stuff we breathe," but "socialist hippies." HELLO SEAN HANNITY, YOU LIVE ON THIS PLANET TOO! *waves* We just wish you didn't.

Fook it, I am starting another episode of... you know. My horrible secret oh-so-sweet addiction. This one features a little pageant king who likes to dress up as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Seriously. Well, there's the joke that writes itself and keeps on writing. You know what though, the mom seems cool and supportive of her little friend of Dorothy, so I'm not gonna mock. That rocks. But what IS it about Judy Garland that makes her so universally adored among... Festive-Americans, even at the age of 5? It has to be genetic or something. This should be studied. By scientists.

Here's something disturbing I've noticed lately: mean Christians.

We'll call them "Talk Radio Christians." I'm not saying one has to be all syrupy sweet and nice to be Christian, but I don't think men of the cloth should spout off like Rush Limbaugh. And I don't necessarily mean that politically, though I do think the unholy marriage between right wing politics and Christianity plays a part - the politicizing of evangelism. Or evangelizing of politics? Either way, scary stuff, and not just cause it got Bush elected twice, but because there is a hard edge to Christianity these days. Jesus embodied peace, humility, modesty, charity. He wore frickin sandals for pete's sake! I can hear one of today's oh-so-cool "politically incorrect" ministers making a whole sermon about guys wearing sandals being gay hippies, until someone kindly pulls him aside and explains.

These are not the majority of Christians, I know. But I think in a misguided, possibly unconcious attempt to be modern and hardcore, aided and abetted by political agendas, the soul and depth of spirituality is slowly being replaced by wordly hate and anger. And sneering. And if there's one thing Jesus would most definitely not do, it's sneer. Jesus would not be flippant. He would not be hard.

"For God so loved the world he gave his one and only son..." A prominent Evangelical politician made a bill about lightbulbs, and boasts about it as a big achievement. LIGHT. BULBS. You are seriously wasting God's time here people! Not helping the poor, healing the sick? You're really going with lightbulbs? What would Jesus do, you ask? Be fucking petty about anything that might have to do with hippies! Or queers! Damn straight! *fires off shotgun* Oh yeah, Jesus owned a gun, it's in the constitution!

When religion becomes too much about wordly things it isn't religion anymore. It's politics disguised as holy war. It's using God as justification for personal prejudices. Yes, the Bible has some anti-gay sentiment. It also has some anti-ham sentiment. And anti-tattoo sentiment. And pro-slavery sentiment. HI PEOPLE, TIMES CHANGE! That doesn't mean the basic teachings of the Bible should be thrown out with the bathwater, but if some parts are outdated it stands to reason others can be too. It's called THINKING OBJECTIVELY.

So enough enabling people to give in to their basest feelings and fears and call it virtue. Isn't spirituality supposed to lift people up? I'm tired of Christians acting the exact fucking opposite of what Christianity stands for. Be bold in your convictions, absolutely! No one's saying you have to be a cookie baking church lady. But... you do have to have compassion. This is not optional. It really, really is what Jesus would do. If it doesn't come from a place of compassion, I don't know where it comes from but it probably isn't good.