You would not believe how many girls on LJ have usernames like HAYDENSMOMMY2003 and KADENSMOMMA09 and JADENSMOMMIE and well, I think you get the idea. First of all, I'm sure they're all giant MILFS. Have kids? check. Have breasts? check. Congratulations, you are now a fully qualified MILF. Go forth and... milficate.

Second, the supercoolspecial names like KADEN! and MADISON! are no longer super cool and special when EVERYONE HAS THEM. "I want to be original, just like everyone else! Ooh Kaden, only five of my friends used that name already, they're so cool and different, I wanna be cool and different too!" This is also how hipsters happen. Like hipsters, the only way to tell them apart is by punching one of them in the face. Try sporting that shiner "ironically," sunshine.

There's also a fair amount of lj fuckery/mean Christian overlap. Here are some charming userpic messages to brighten your day: "Bitch you're on my shit list," "You are classy with a capital cunt," "One classy bitch," "Sorry I'm prettier than you," "Honey you're a dirty slag," and last but not least, "Christ follower." Yes, they all belong to the same person. I hope she never gets confused and ends up with "Jesus is a dirty slag" or something. Or maybe Christ is her sexy neighbor she follows around with high-powered binoculars? *grasps at anything to try to make the world make sense* Apparently being a Christian is like being a MILF. You just have to say you are one, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

In case this person wasn't confounding enough, she likes... Doctor Who? And Big Bang Theory, and Harry Potter? But but... those are MY things! "Classy bitches" and MILFS and woo girls can't have those things, they have Britney Spears and Jersey Shore and America's Next Top Slag Housewife Dancing with the Stars! Get your mean girl face outta my happy place. :/

This stuff is very prevalent on LJ, for some reason. The "I'm a classy bitch and you are something demeaning that makes you inferior" school of thought. From these girls' journals you'd think they've had really rough lives, hoes and slags and cunts humping their man's leg at every turn, what's a poor classy bitch to do? It's tough out there on the mean streets of *checks*... San Diego. I don't know what happened to turn today's young women so hard, but I'd like very much to go back in time and shoot it into space.

The worst part is I feel like I'm the only one who gives a shit or even notices. Man, I feel old.

BUT I'M NOT OLD. I'M RIGHT, DAMMIT.