Wicked Good Wednesday

The Brain - Okay, this movie is AMAZING. It's about a giant brain with a face and big snarly teeth. It eats people and rats. It wants to control your mind. IT LOOKS LIKE THIS

So by "amazing," I obviously mean very, very, very bad, but in the best way. This would make a killer Rifftrax. Everyone should see this movie. Also, it's Canadian, and there's a scene in the school where the principal says, "Where do you think you are, America?" to a student and I'm like well nope, obvs Canada, but then the principal says "YOU'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL." Oh, okay. My question is, why do these Canadian movies pretend they take place in America? Is there a reason they can't just say Canada? Also, random boobs because 80s.

Night of the Demons - I felt like revisiting an old favourite. This one is similar to Hell Night in some ways, but better. You've got the big, spooky house with the murderous history, except this time it's an abandoned mortuary. Oh, yeah! And instead of a deranged killer you've got demon summoning, but it actually makes sense here cause it's not just "welp nothing on tv, let's summon demons I guess."

That girl clearly showed up to summon some demons, and nothing else will do.

This is one of those dumb, fun 80s movies that due to just the right combination of factors, works better than it probably should. I've seen similar movies from this time period where you tweak just one or two things and it goes off the rails right into stupidtown. But this hits that sweet atmosphere and vibe. I can't even say "random boobs because 80s," because the boob scene is one of the most memorable effects!
That's right, this is the movie that finally gave random 80s boobs a purpose. Besides the obvious one, I mean.

This is a great movie to watch Halloween night if you don't like to go to parties. Start with The Midnight Hour, have some drinks, maybe some Trick r Treat, and end your night with this. You'll feel like you went to a real party the next day.

Blood on Satan's Claw - This was new to me, and it's a pretty cool little atmospheric period piece. Not too mind-blowing, but it pulls you into its world. If you like satanic ritual and possession horror, I'd check this out. And definitely check it out if you liked The Witch. Also, random boobs because... 18th century? Okay, horror movies just like boobs.

Devil Dog: Hound of Hell - The crown jewel of 70s tv horror, this is every bit as awesome as it sounds. I love the title too, I guess they couldn't decide which alliteration was better so heck it, just use both! It's about a devil dog. From hell. Really, this doesn't require much commentary. Just watch it.

When Michael Calls - more classic 70s tv, with a Michael Douglas so young you'll do a double take and say, "Is that Michael Douglas?" This is actually a pretty damn good psychological thriller. Man, I miss tv movies like this.

I still have 45+, maybe 50 movies left on my List of Doom. And that's not counting the Christmas/Winter ones.😨

Frightful Friday 5 - Seed of Friday

I'm a dirty cheater. I've never actually seen Seed of Chucky, but it was the best part 5 name I could find. I mean come on, "A New Beginning?" That sounds like a rehab clinic, not a horror movie.

Graveyard Shift - A Stephen King movie I hadn't seen, this one was a really cool surprise. While Brad Dourif as the exterminator was fun (I think he chewed more scenery than the rats), the real star of this movie was the SETS. Old mist-shrouded cemetery, abandoned basement full of rusty machinery, and whatever the hell you'd call the lair of the rat-bat (??) thing. A pit of doom? It looked AMAZING, whatever it was.

MY AESTHETIC 100%

Legend of Hell House - And now for something completely different, a 70s British haunted house movie. Oh man, I love this one. I THINK I saw this way back in the day, as I had an obsession with haunted houses as well as Roddy McDowall after Fright Night. But I didn't remember anything if I did, which is exactly how you want to go into this. This is one of those movies where the characters really make the mystery more compelling. I especially liked this medium, fresh off her win of the prestigious Britain's Floppiest Collar award.

It set a new record! Seriously though, good vintage spooky house movie.

Brotherhood of Satan - This was right up my alley and would have been an easy 3.5 if it hadn't been so darn slow in parts. But man, when it's good, it's good. The M. O. of the kills is really creative, and the ending is at least worth the buildup. I would have loved to see this paced better because there are some cool ideas here.

Return of the Living Dead - Aw man, what a perfect Friday night movie. I just finished watching this, and it was pretty funny. "Send more cops" lol. This is another one I might have seen way back in the day, but it might as well have been new to me. This was actually pretty groundbreaking. It was the first to introduce zombies saying "braaaaains," as well as (I believe) the first significant zombie comedy, 20 years before Shaun of the Dead. Complete with laughs, genuine scares, cool practical effects and a kickass 80s soundtrack, I'd call this a classic. Oh, and our 2nd Clu Gulager alert of the season! Also, people in the 80s sure liked to get naked for no reason. I don't remember that happening!

tbt

This was supposed to be the day I saw Creeper, but for some unknown reason, I'll be home watching sports as usual. NOT THAT I'M BITTER OR ANYTHING. So, on what could be another shitty day in 2017, let's instead have some sunshiney 60s goodness!

Addressing a couple things

This blog is a 99% safe, politics-free space. However, when politics enters into music, then it's in my territory and I've got something to say.

I did not watch the CMA's last night, because I never watch awards shows. I hate them. There are three kinds of people in the world - people who watch awards shows, people who hate-watch awards shows, and people who don't watch awards shows. Seriously, I can't think of a better way of stereotyping people. Anyway, looks like some of the good guys won, for whatever that's worth. Stapleton, Miranda, and that Brothers Osborne song freaking kicks, good for them! Tin Man should have beat the hell out of Keith Urban, though. :( I don't get Garth Brooks winning, I love him but he hasn't been relevant since like, Third Eye Blind was relevant. Think about that. Nor Taylor Swift, who has never really been country but has officially not been country since 2014. See, this is part of why I don't watch awards shows, I don't need to overthink silly stuff that doesn't matter. (The other reason is they're boring and inane.)

Anyway, apparently Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood made some Trump jokes, which sent dumb people who don't understand how things work into a tizzy. Here's the main point I want to make: The US is SO. FREAKING. POLARIZED right now they no longer realize that people joke about whoever's in office, regardless of "side." How many Clinton jokes did Letterman and other liberal comics make back in the day? Not only that, apparently these same two people also made Obama jokes when he was in office, because that's how things work. Making a damn joke doesn't mean you're on one side or the other.

(That said, it is way easier to joke about Trump because he's a buffoon. Maybe this whole thing is a conspiracy by comedians to make up for the comedy dry spell of the Obama years.)

ALSO: this whole towing a party line thing is ridiculous, and has gotten out of hand to the point of being destructive. Putting aside that joking about a president doesn't automatically mean you dislike them, why would joking about or even disliking ONE person in a party automatically mean you're on the other "side?" You have to fall in step with everyone who claims to be part of your side or you're a traitor, or something? That is some dangerous thinking. What are all the conservatives who hate that their party has been hijacked by a buffoon supposed to do? They should fight, not cower behind a damn party logo. We've really lost sight of things like context and critical thinking. It scares me.

One last point, which is tangentially related: A music critic I follow was being harassed on twitter by someone I can only call a "fangirl" for criticizing certain artists. These were all artists the critic likes and has praised more than criticized. Look, IT'S OKAY TO CRITICIZE THINGS YOU LIKE. It's healthy, even. This goes back to my points about critical thinking and not just falling in step with every damn thing because you're "supposed" to. "I'm a fan of this person, so I have to like everything they do or I'm a hater!" "I support this political party, so I must agree with everyone who stamps that label on or I'm a traitor!" NO. This is not how we make great art or great nations.

Criticism is vital to society, and is not the same as "hating." This fangirl mentality, this "if you're not with us you're against us" bullshit contributes to the bigger picture of what's happening in the world today. We WERE NOT always like this. I know that social media and biased 24/7 news have helped create and exacerbate this problem, but it's still, always, up to the individual to think for themselves. I know it feels good to "belong" to something, but if the thing you belong to discourages independent thinking, it's not worth belonging to.

Not everything is black and white. Some things are, like Nazis are bad. But most things aren't. Embrace the grey.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go clear my head with a nice devil movie, BYEEEEEEE

Wicked Good Wednesday

Just finished Stranger Things season 2. It was amazing. Still processing. I love Dustin more than most things on earth right now. That is all.

Now, back to movies! First up: Stephen King's Graveyard Shift, which is new to me.

SpoOOoky Saturday - how much Keeffe is in this movie?

I haven't had a lot of movie time the past few days, but I managed to sneak a few in. :) Mostly shorter ones, but I finally got to Conjuring 2. 134 minutes, dayum!

It was worth it though. Awesome movie, some of the best modern horror I've seen. If you liked the first one, this one might be even better? It had so many sweet character moments, genuine scares (that creepy flooded basement, you couldn't pay me to go down there), great performances by everyone, and I thought the "hoax" part added some interesting texture. I have such an interest in hauntings, possessions, the occult in general. Whether you believe or not, it's an endlessly fascinating subject and I love how this movie covered different aspects of it.

Waxwork - a classic 80s horror I'd somehow missed. This one's a lot of fun, paying bloody homage to old timey monsters like the Wolfman, the Mummy, and Dracula (played by Miles O'Keeffe!) This is one of the most stylish 80s horror films I've seen, I just love the look and tone of it, and it concludes with an EPIC evil-wax-people vs non-wax-people fight. Highly recommend! I wish 14 year old me had seen this late one Friday night, but hey, 14 year old me is still very much present. :P There's a sequel, and I miiiight watch it, but...

The Gate 2 - Well except for Conjuring 2, which I knew was going to be good, I'm not doing too hot with sequels. This was another Pumpkinhead 2 for me. So Nerdy Metalhead Kid is back, except now he's Nerdy Wizard Kid Who Kinda Looks Like Harry Potter. He's having troubles at home (mom died, dad lost his job and drinks too much) which should be really sympathetic, considering how much I loved this kid in the first movie, but it never really resonates.

I mean, when I say it's like Pumpkinhead 2, it kind of IS. NWKWKLLHP (as we'll call our main character) decides to go back to the ol' gates-of-hell house for nostalgia, cause man those were good times, right? Okay, actually he goes back to try to summon the demon to get his dad a job (???) Maybe you can already see the problem here. This was the smart kid in the first movie. Then of course, the BULLIES show up, because while it's not an 80s movie it is 1990, close enough. And the 80s were just full of bullies roaming the streets in search of stray nerds, apparently. So in true Pumpkinhead 2 fashion, the bully kids are totes down with summoning demon minions cause you know, they're bored, whatever. Better than doing homework, I guess.

I hate this premise for a movie. Can you tell? So pointless. I mean, if you summon demons you kinda deserve what you get, you know? Not like those poor tormented people in The Conjuring who didn't ask for that shit. This is just setting something up so there can be a movie, without understanding the movie needs purpose to be effective.

So there's a love interest for NWKWKLLHP, we'll call her Not-Kelly-Kapowski. She doesn't look that much like her, but there's a lot of feathered bangs and denim going on, you know the deal. This was the only part of the movie that kinda worked for me. She's the girlfriend of the main bully, but she's into the occult so she and NWKWKLLHP come together by common interest. Aww. Except for the demon summoning part, because in the first movie he used his knowledge to FIGHT demons. That was the point. Now he's using them to drive a Corvette. He doesn't seem like the same character. He doesn't even have any good lines in this one. Also, he has a Motley Crue poster in his room. That seems like a rather mainstream choice for someone who was repping KILLER DWARFS when they were 12, and am I overthinking things again??

Then he dies, but it's okay, because he pops out of his coffin (???) and he and his dad and Not-Kelly walk out of the graveyard, laughing arm in arm like the end of a sitcom. I wish I was kidding. Then the no-longer-dead bullies also pop out like a clown coffin. The end!

Yeah... this one was a disappointment, in fact it kinda takes away from the first one, so I don't recommend it.

Finally we have Shock em Dead and AHHHHH, Zombie Nightmare Voodoo lady flashbacks! Yeah, this one wasn't very good either. It had a few really funny moments involving the band and their songs ("I'm in love with a SLUT!") And the band's name was Spastic Colon. That's really all I can recommend this movie for, watch the musical numbers, skip the plot. It's not Hack O'lantern bad, it's just... the lead character is unsympathetic. When it starts out and he's a nerd, you should feel something for him but NOPE, he's creepin on his coworker while she changes. Ewwww. So you're not invested in him at any point, he's just a creep. I liked the premise of nerdy guy makes a deal with the devil to be a rockstar, but this didn't work for me. I think when you have an underdog kind of character become the "villain," it needs to be told more like Carrie. Without the emotional connection, it falls flat.

I'll be back with more movies, but I think I'm taking a break to watch Stranger Things. :)

Frightful Friday Part IV: The Final Chapter (yeah, right!)

No time today, but here's a cool song from The Conjuring.

Don't give up on me, cause I'm just in a rut

Guys... this new Weezer album... 👎😢. I loved their last two albums, but I'm kinda back to not wanting to say they're my favourite band. Maybe it's Paramore instead. Or Creeper!... yeah. I wanted to buck the crowd and like this thing, like I did Cage the Elephant's last album, but there's a reason this is being met with a resounding "meh."

Oh, there are a few decent Weezery choruses. "Mexican Fender," "Beach Boys," "Weekend Woman," even "Feels Like Summer" is catchy, but... none of it sticks. None of it crunches. The production is awe-inspiringly bad, but I'm not sure the songwriting could be saved anyway. It would help if it didn't sound like it was put out by Generic Pop Factory #5, though. :/

This is supposed to be an homage to the Beach Boys, and a couple of the hooks almost get there if you squint a little. Squint your ears. yeah. ANYWAY, the Beach Boys were about harmonies, kind of this beautiful wall of sound, and this is pretty much the opposite of that to me. It feels empty. In one ear and out the other. Sweet Mary and QB Blitz are okay. But that's it, even the "standout" songs are just... okay. With better production, I might have enjoyed those a lot more. There's something there. However, Happy Hour and La Mancha Screwjob are two of the worst Weezer songs I've heard in a while. Happy Hour is basic pop crap, and La Mancha is ruined by those damn "whoa ohs" that have wormed their way into every pop song like the alien parasites in Night of the Creeps. Weezer should not EVER try to be "trendy" or "cool." It's like your dad dabbing or something. And that's not an age thing, Weezer has never been cool. That's why I like them.

If Everything Will Be Alright was a feast, and White Album a tasty dessert, this is the next day's warmed up leftovers. At best.

The Killers' new album is better. I wouldn't call it amazing as an album, but at least I like several songs (Run for Cover, Tyson vs Douglas, and Rut are my favourites). That's more than I can say for Weezer. I wasn't crazy about Beck's album either, though I've only heard it once. The best album I've listened to in the second half of 2017 is Kesha's Rainbow. Yeah, really. It's a good album, but speaking of Rut, I'm in one. I've been saving Margo Price's album for a rainy day, cause she hasn't let me down yet. Other than that, guess I'll just stick with my classic rock and movies for a while. I managed to work a Night of the Creeps reference into a music post, so I'm pretty awesome.

tbt

Let's take a break from movies with a classic song! Thank you, Rushmore soundtrack, for bringing us this one-hit wonder gem we'd probably never hear otherwise.

Wicked Good Wednesday

I've always said that October 31st is the happiest day of the year, and November 1st the saddest. I mean, November sucks. Baseball's over (well, almost over this year), the weather's shitty, there's nothing November-y to do, you're pretty much just counting the days till Christmas. More like Nofunber, amirite?

NOT THIS YEAR. I have so much leftover stuff to watch, including all of Stranger Things season 2, and I'm determined to enjoy this month even if I can't go outside. But before that, let's properly conclude October, the king of all months.

This might have been my best horror marathon yet. This year I really went full force watching stuff I hadn't seen, both old and new, popular and obscure. I also rewatched a lot of stuff I hadn't seen in a long time. That means it was a different kind of year, maybe the first time I haven't watched any of the major franchises (unless you count Halloween III). No Jason, no Freddy, no Living Dead at any time of day or night. For the most part, this wasn't a year for the tried and true favourites, though I snuck in a few. As a result, I found a number of new favourites, relived some forgotten memories, and will probably be revisiting most of this year's picks.

Halloween day:

I started the day off right with Trick r Treat. This one's a favourite, but I was dying to see it again. Kind of an updated Creepshow where all the stories interconnect, this thing is just brilliant. Definitely watch this more than once, there's a lot to pick up on you might miss in the first viewing.

Next was The Conjuring. Along with The Last Exorcism, which I'll probably rewatch next year, this is one of my favourite newer horror films. I probably would have waited another year to rewatch this, but of course I had to get ready for the sequel. This movie does a wonderful job setting location, atmosphere, and tone, which makes the scares effective. Also, Vera Farmiga. I love haunted house movies, and this is based on real people AND takes place in Rhode Island, where I used to live. I wish I'd known about this then, I would have visited the town. Lots of spooky goodness, and did I mention Vera Farmiga (who autocorrect insists is called Vera Farming)? Watching the sequel today!

Next up, another favourite, Halloween III: Season of the Witch. I've probably ranted about this enough, but please, watch the damn movie before whining about how Michael Myers isn't in it. If this movie was just called Season of the Witch, or something else not-Halloween, wouldn't it just be known as fun, cheesy 80s horror instead of the black sheep of a franchise? (At the time, I mean. The Halloween franchise got really bad.) This thing is actually really creative. Killer masks, robots, ancient magic, Stonehenge?? There's nothing else like this. And that song. That magical, horrible little song that will be stuck in your head till Christmas.

I was going to finish the day with The Exorcist, but I chickened out decided to check out this 80s rock n roll horror instead. Come on, it's the last day of Rocktober! I also wanted to watch one new-to-me movie. So, Black Roses it is! How was it? Kind of amazing, actually. It was pretty funny, but unlike Hack O'lantern, it was genuinely entertaining and not just hilariously bad. So there's Italian Stereotype Dad who makes a faggot joke, because 80s, but then he gets sucked into a speaker by a demon! Hooray! And THEN THE SPEAKER BURPS, and I am the happiest person on earth. While that was obviously meant to be funny, the movie plays it straight for the most part. I think that's why it was so funny, as well as another scene involving a tennis racket and a demon's head. The lead singer of the all-demon rock band is named Damian (OOH, SUBTLE)! This all makes it sound like a parody, but while it is silly and the demons look ridiculous, I don't think it is.

This movie is just a lot of fun, so grab some popcorn and your tennis racket (just in case). If you've ever wished for a full-length version of those old cheesy metal videos, well, Happy Halloween to you! In the grand tradition of Rocktober Blood, Trick or Treat, Rock n Roll Nightmare (which I've seen several times thanks to Rifftrax), and not-Hack O'Lantern, we have another rock horror classic. I have one more of these to go, 1990's Shock 'em Dead. I might watch that today.

Hurry up, it's Halloween!

Before I get into today's marathon, what did I watch yesterday?

Creepshow - Continuing my King marathon (which I'll keep going the next couple months), we have the delightfully cheesy Romero-directed Creepshow. This movie delivers exactly what it intends to deliver, the feeling of being a kid reading an old horror comic under the covers in the middle of the night. I love the little animated interludes between each vignette, as well as the kid's story that bookends the movie. Each of the vignettes has its own creepy charm, but The Crate is my favourite and probably the most memorable. Great cast, great performances, great direction, with just the right amount of over-the-topness without descending into goofyville.

Hell Night - continuing my Blair-a-thon, this is one of my favourite standalone 80s slashers. It's pretty standard in most ways, but what really sets it apart is the setting. Spooky old abandoned house with secret passageways and a deranged killer on the loose? Hell yeah, this is my jam. Oh, and don't go in the basement!

Final Exam - this came up in relation to Hell Night (same year, also a college slasher), so I figured why not. This is a basic campus slasher, but it was a decent late night diversion. Can I just say, I miss the 80s "nerd" trope so much? The classic nerds were these sweet, sincere, smart guys, and you can't really do that anymore unless you set your story in the damn 80s. That innocence is gone, and now nerds are just as jerky as everyone else. *sheds a tear for the bygone nerds*

Anyway, the movie. The killer was kinda Michael Myers-y, I guess. No mask, but he seemed extra... durable? Also he was just some random dude. Not sure what was going on there. Not great, but fun if you wanna add a guy named "Radish" to your 80s nerd list. This thing is SO tropey it's almost like, is this the movie that MADE the tropes in the first place? It's kinda charming in that way, honestly.

Hack O'Lantern - oh, Lordy, children. I was gonna watch this tonight but I just couldn't wait, so I made it my Halloween Eve movie instead. I probably should have waited for the day after Halloween, cause this is one discarded candy wrapper of a movie. It's GLORIOUS though. This is perfect Rifftrax fodder. They'd have to cut some nude scenes, but it's not like they're integral to the plot. Well... "plot." They'd have a field day with the evil folksy grandpa alone. Driving his evil pumpkin truck! Spooky! (No. Pumpkin farmers are not scary, no matter how much they overact. No.)

Come for the dramatic pumpkin flinging, stay for the dramatic headband-tying-on! Enjoy a random music video with a lady shooting green lasers out of her eyes! Cool! Enjoy a random, unfunny stand-up act right smack in the middle of a "horror" movie! (My guess: dude helped fund the movie in exchange for getting his schtick on.) In fact, this movie is kinda The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies of the 80s, with all the weird padding that has nothing to do with the plot. Well... "plot." Then you have the girl who just found her boyfriend's murdered body and almost got killed by her folksy satanic grandpa and what does she do when she arrives at the party to find help? Fixes up her makeup, of course! Let's party! And then acts shocked when she finds more bodies, like that hasn't happened before. Oooh, short term memory loss? Spooky, I guess?

Best of all, I don't think this movie is meant to be funny, except the stand up act, which is the only part that isn't. I think this is pure, genuine, Troll 2 style badness. Rifftrax, I'm begging you, you've got a classic here.

I probably won't watch quite as many movies today as I was planning to, since I'm extending the marathon, but we'll see how many I get to! And Happy Halloweeeeen, though it's much more Overlook Hotel than Haddonfield here in Edmonton today. :(❄️ I guess it's an excuse to stay in and watch movies.

To-watch list (today and the coming week):

Conjuring 1 & 2
Trick r Treat
The Thing
The Exorcist
Halloween III
Stranger Things season 2
1922
Graveyard Shift
The Gate 2
Lost Boys
Legend of Hell House
Just Before Dawn

Morbid Monday

One more day till Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, one more day till Halloween, Silver Shamrock!

I've gotta get my butt in gear, I really slacked over the weekend. Only 3 movies. :(

Cheerleader Camp - It's an 80s slasher called Cheerleader Camp. It's exactly what you think it is. Is it worth watching? Of course! If you want a cheesy 80s horror featuring cheerleaders... at a camp... it's there for you. It's serviceable.

Ghostkeeper - This is an obscure one, filmed here in Alberta so of course I had to watch it. For a very low budget 1981 film, this was better and scarier than a lot of stuff made today. I mean, this movie has an honest-to-God Cat Jump Scare and that doesn't even kill the suspense. (Hey, it was 1981, was that even a joke yet?) Just goes to show you can do a lot with a little when it comes to horror. This would make a nice double feature with The Shining, since they both feature a creepy old hotel in the middle of nowhere (snowhere?)

Rifftrax: Wes Craven's Mind Ripper - Of course I had to get the new Rifftrax Halloween offering. I love me some Wes Craven, and most of the films he actually directed are good, but boy did he put his name on some stinkers. This one actually has a decent concept (reanimated corpse terrorizes people in the desert), but poor execution, terrible acting, and it commits the sin of wasting Lance Henriksen. Watch the Rifftrax of this, cause it's very funny, and then watch Pumpkinhead.

I have a full slate of movies lined up for today and tomorrow, then I'm riding this crazy train right into November. Yeehaw! Or something.

Frightful Friday Part 3: Dream Warriors or Season of the Witch, take yer pick

Well, I managed to squeeze in three movies between yesterday afternoon and today. I'm actually a wizard, shhh. Two new-to-me's, one rewatch.

The Gate (1987) - Not sure how I missed this one in the 80s, I would have been the perfect age for it. Turns out, I'm still the perfect age for it. Holy shit, this was AWESOME.

The 80s was truly the golden age of kids in movies, especially adventure/horror type stuff. Before Disney Channel-style mugging became the go-to for child actors, we got to enjoy natural performances like this. Can we talk about Nerdy Metalhead Kid in the KILLER DWARFS jean vest?? Because he might be my favourite character ever. Killer Dwarfs is a real band, apparently. Guess I'll have to check them out. Man, I wish I liked metal music half as much as I like the aesthetic. Also, if jean shorts are jorts, would a jean vest be a jest?

Okay, that's all my tangents, back to the movie. Of course, Nerdy Metalhead Kid is your go-to for dealing with the occult, because he is both smart and into metal, and his favourite band "Sacrifyx" has some lyrics pertinent to the situation. This is the kid you want for your best friend when a gate to hell opens in your backyard, for he will calmly stare down into said gate and say, "you have demons," in the same way an exterminator would say, "you have termites." He is a DELIGHT, is my point. He will likely grow up to be the Badass Academic™ in another horror movie. Totally Metal Librarian. I'd watch the hell out of that movie.

This movie does have a "fag" joke, because 80s. It was at least from an annoying character you were meant to groan at (in the words of my new hero, Nerdy Metalhead Kid, "can we knock her out again?") I'll chalk it up to the times and move on. This would be a great starter horror for kids, but I had a lot of fun with it as an adult. It's likeable, it's exciting, the effects hold up, and KILLER DWARFS RULE, MAN. 🤘 (I assume.)

This is my second-fave "new to me" this year, after Pumpkinhead. There is a sequel, and I will watch it. Apparently it's not great but has its moments. Nerdy Metalhead Kid is back, so that's all I need. He was never in anything else, which is a real shame. Dude had charisma.

Scarecrows (1988) - I'm on a roll, cause this is another cool atmospheric gem from the 80s. I LOVE scarecrows in horror, they're right up there with clowns* in creepiness factor. Scarecrows that MOVE. The scarecrow episode of Supernatural is in my top 5 for sure, and this movie lived up to it. Imagine a whole field full of different, creepy looking scarecrows and an old abandoned witchy house. There NEEDS to be a Halloween attraction based on this movie, it practically makes itself. Just put a bunch of scarecrows out in a field, some of them just scarecrows and some of them live actors that move, and you don't know which is which until it's TOO LATE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yeah, this was pretty much an automatic win for me with that premise, and the execution did not let me down. I'd never heard of this until this year so it might not be very well-known? Highly recommended, especially if you love the creepy farm aesthetic like I do. I also like the idea that you can just randomly land a plane out in the middle of nowhere and you might end up in EVIL SCARECROW COUNTRY.

*my clown phobia is weird. I'm not afraid of them in their natural habitat, like a party or the circus, but say I was walking alone somewhere and no one was around and I heard a noise, the thing I'd be MOST afraid to see when I turned around would be a clown. :/ idk. Luckily that is an unlikely scenario.

Happy Birthday To Me - hadn't seen this in a while, and it was different than I remembered. By that I mean I only really remembered two scenes, the guy getting crushed by weights and of course THE ENDING. This was longer and slower in parts than I remembered, like it's a cool little slasher but you could easily trim 20 minutes off. Totally worth watching for the ending though. The mask thing was silly and far-fetched, but I also feel like it inspired the writers of Pretty Little Liars, so I kind of dig it in retrospect.

After the opening kill there's a stretch where not much happens, the only really important part is the bridge scene, but be patient. It does pick up. This is a 3 star movie that gets bumped up purely by how memorably batshit the ending is. It pleases my macabre little heart so much. The song that plays over the closing credits is great too; it's funny how some music just sounds creepy.

I have some stuff to do this weekend, including the last Eskimos home game, but I'll try to fit in as many movies as I can. TBH watching and writing about these movies is the happiest I've been in like, a year? So I'll probably keep this going into November, and then of course winter-themed horror in December. (I've never seen Krampus! I haven't seen Gremlins or Nightmare Before Christmas in years! I've been dying to rewatch The Visit! The Shining counts, because snow! Can I possibly withstand another watch of Black Christmas?! Wheee!)

Uh, Thrilling Thursday!

What I watched yesterday, and a test of my alliterative skills (solid). Heck, might as well do one of these every day. I have a surprising lot to say about a silly 80s slasher.

The Initiation (1984) - Starring The Sure Thing's Daphne Zuniga, Psycho's Vera Miles, Clu Gulager alert! (hi, MST3K), some totally awesome 80s fashions, and um, Barb from Stranger Things??

Barb has always existed. Barb will always exist. All hail Barb.

I had no idea if I'd seen this before I started watching it. I could have, I've seen The Initiation of Sarah, Sorority House Massacre, House on Sorority Row, Black Christmas, Sisters of Death, and probably some I'm forgetting. Sororities lend themselves well to horror movies, maybe because they're so damn weird. Think about it, you've got "normal" pretty people, the kind of girls you were probably afraid of in school if you were a shy bookworm like me, doing these crazy rituals and stuff they'd probably think were weird in any other context. It's like the closest they'll ever get to witchcraft.

Turns out, I hadn't seen this, and holy shit! First of all, this thing is pure, uncut 80s. If Material Girl-era Madonna licked a filmstrip, this is what would develop. It's also completely batshit. So it starts out as nightmare/repressed-memory-weird-family-shit movie. Okay, cool. Then it turns into sorority movie. Okay, cool. Then suddenly, it's Chopping Mall before Chopping Mall existed! Okay, cool?? It's also REALLY tonally weird. Most of the time it's your usual 80s slasher, screaming sorority girls, wisecracking frat idiots, nothing too serious. But then there's the underlying repressed memory story, which is played straight and seems like a different movie. AND THEN, in the worst tonal shift I've ever seen in a movie, 1000% SERIOUS TEARFUL STATUTORY RAPE STORY followed by SEX SCENE FEATURING SAID RAPE VICTIM?? And THEN, they get KILLED BY THE SLASHER. Really, 1984?

But other than that, I kinda enjoyed this mess. The ending is stupid. The whole thing is stupid. But it's mostly a fun kind of stupid. The part where the douchey frat guy starts randomly talking to the mall Christmas decorations made me laugh out loud.

Because of Vera Miles, I was inspired to rewatch Rifftrax: Psycho II. Believe it or not, this is the movie that started this whole crazy journey. Yup, Psycho II, pretty random I know. But that's how it was back then, you never knew what you might find on cable. When I was 13? I watched this late one night, and I was HOOKED. I'd never even seen the original, other than the famous scenes. But something about Anthony Perkins' performance (and Meg Tilly's) drew me in. I then watched the original Psycho and a few of Perkins' other movies (most of them bad, sadly, for such an engaging actor). I started staying up and watching every horror movie I could get my hands on. I was officially a ghoul, I was never happier, and I never looked back.

Psycho II may not be a great movie, but for me, it kinda is. Not only because I genuinely enjoy it, but for the memory of that night and what it represents.

Norman Bates is still my favourite horror character, maybe even favourite movie character. And what this sequel does even better than the original is get you to sympathize with him, even relate to him. It has its silly moments, but this is a movie that humanizes a serial killer and doesn't make you mad about it. You root for Norman; not to kill people, but to NOT kill. What kind of weird slasher movie is that?? Well it's not really, it's more of a character study and I find it effective, especially with Perkins' moving performance.

If I have one complaint about this movie it's the tonal shifts. It can't seem to decide if it wants to be drama or comedy. A few of the comedic moments work, and the ending scene actually made me laugh out loud - CLANG! - but it's the serious, human moments that work the best. 3.75 stars.

I also highly recommend watching Allison Pregler's Movie Nights review on youtube-



All that said, it's still rife for riffing, especially the silly ending, and I love the Rifftrax version. "Welcome to the Bates Motel, please ignore our Trip Advisory reviews!"

I might skip Frightful Friday, unless I can squeeze in a movie tomorrow afternoon. Going to a beer event tonight so only time for one movie.

Wicked Good Wednesday

The latest thrills. And chills.

The Babysitter (Netflix 2017) - Saw this on a whim after reading positive feedback and yeah, this is definitely worth a watch. Very entertaining with some laughs, some suspense, and some surprisingly heart-wrenching moments. Kinda the perfect popcorn movie. If you like "evil cult" movies like I do, and a good mix of bloody horror, humor, and heart, check this out. It's modern, but with an 80s heart.

My Stephen King marathon continues strong with two movies I'd never seen, The Dark Half and Silver Bullet.

I'm surprised I just got around to The Dark Half, as I read and enjoyed the book as a kid, but I'm glad I did. Good performances by Amy Madigan, Michael Rooker, Julie Harris, and especially Timothy Hutton. I LOVED Julie Harris' character, and after seeing this and another movie I watched recently, I realized I love the "badass academic." Like badass in a librarian-y, I'm gonna defeat you with KNOWLEDGE way, not "I will suddenly throw off my glasses and kickbox you!" (Because that would be unrealistic, in this movie about an evil absorbed twin come to life. Anyway.) That was her character, and she was so great. They're always open-minded too, like they're the character who will listen to you when you start spouting crazy shit and research a possible answer like they're just writing a paper, no big deal. Also Timothy Hutton in the dual role was amazing, it actually took me a moment to realize it WAS him.

Silver Bullet - This is now my favourite werewolf movie, yup, beating out The Howling and The Wolf-Man. Granted I haven't seen American Werewolf in London yet, but I'll probably still stubbornly cling on to Silver Bullet. This is just one of those 80s movies, like Fright Night or Night of the Creeps, that's fun to watch and makes you feel good. It has an uncynical spirit of adventure, and great performances by Corey Haim and especially Gary Busey.

Haim's character is in a wheelchair and he's just a kid that happens to be in a wheelchair, there's no sappy crap and he's not special or anything, he's a regular kid. He's a jerk to his big sister sometimes. I love how he's played and the family dynamic, it all feels natural. Gary Busey is the raddest drunk, foul-mouthed uncle ever who builds him this sweet wheelchair, the Silver Bullet. And oh yeah, there's a werewolf in all this, and it's obvious who it is, but it's really the stuff with the family that makes this great.

And I kick off my three-movie Linda Blair-a-thon with Summer of Fear, AKA Stranger in Our House. This seems to be one of those movies that I, specifically, love. Witchy stuff? Check. Linda Blair? Check. 70s made for tv? Check! It probably also helps that I loved the book by Lois Duncan as a kid. Like The Dark Half, this also features my beloved Badass Academic™ trope, this time the local professor of occult studies or something (of course). And of course, he listens to poor Linda Blair about her witch problem when No One Else Will™. I am seriously gonna seek out every movie with that kind of character and watch it. It's just so comforting and makes me happy, idk.

I continued my three-film John Carpenter-a-thon with The Fog (the first was Christine). What can I say about The Fog, another stylish, classic 80s gem with one of the best casts you'll see in a horror movie. We've got Adrienne Barbeau, Jamie Lee Curtis, Janet Leigh, Hal Holbrook and Tom Atkins (from Halloween III and Night of the Creeps, he sure picked good movies), but of course Barbeau steals the hell out of this thing. The way she switches between her sultry radio persona and concerned single mother, damn girl, just one of my favourite performances. This is also right up there in the coveted "atmosphere" department. VENGEFUL FOG SPIRITS, people. It doesn't get much more atmospheric than that, the monsters are literally IN THE ATMOSPHERE.

Rifftrax: City of the Dead - The Rifftrax is fun, but this movie is super watchable on its own imo. On the surface this seems like a pretty standard witch movie, but something about it got under my skin. Maybe it's because I love these kind of movies, and the fog-shrouded, nearly-abandoned New England village was a perfect setting. Maybe it's because it felt like our lead actually travelled back in time when she visited the town, it seemed so out of step with modern times (well, 1960, but you know). The whole thing kind of felt like a dream, and it's actually really well done. What can I say, atmosphere can really make a movie.

Dead and Buried - this is a 1981 film that was New to Me, and just another great 80s watch. This one was really different, a take on "zombies" (of sorts) I've never seen before. I did guess the final twist, but it's still fun and suspenseful even if you do. Great concept, well-executed. It kind of seemed like a Stephen King story, mysterious goings-on in a small town, locals who aren't what they appear, spooky!

I still have lots more to watch, including my Halloween All Day and All of the Night Spooktacular, which I've tentatively scheduled as: The Conjuring 1 and 2, Trick r Treat, The Exorcist, Halloween III: Season of the Witch, and possibly the hilarious Hack O'Lantern if I have time. If I have even more time, Rifftrax Plan 9 is always fun to throw on. I might go to sleep to that one lol.

Man, October *ahem* Rocktober is just Peak Content time here at Straight on Til Morning. After this I probably won't post again till next year lol. Or maybe I'll keep the horror stuff going... Frightful Friday Part VIII, Melissa Takes Manhattan?? No, I'm in Canada. Melissa takes Manitoba. Okay, well now it HAS to happen.

Frightful Friday Part 2: The Revenge

The last few night's fine film selections.

Rocktober Blood - That's right folks, I just watched an 80s rock n roll slasher movie called ROCKTOBER BLOOD. I think I have fulfilled my final purpose on this earth. Farewell.

Okay, maybe not. So who's the real star of this movie, Headband Skeleton (totally metal, man!) or the worm playing pinochle on his snout?

Bloody Birthday - not to be confused with the gleefully demented Happy Birthday to Me, this is a decent watch if you're looking to complete your 80s holiday horror bingo card. (Y'know, My Bloody Valentine, April Fool's Day, Trick or Treat, Hack O'Lantern, Home Sweet Home, Silent Night Deadly Night, New Year's Evil, etc. Has there ever been an Easter horror film? Arbor Day? Canada Day? My guess is the answer to all of those is "yes, but it sucks." This one has killer children by way of astrology, so if that sounds like a good time, go for it.

Oh and the real star of this movie, this sweet vintage 7up can!

I'm not saying the movie was upstaged by a soda can, just that I'm interested in weird things.

And continuing down the holiday road, I rewatched April Fool's Day. WARNING: SPOILER FROM 1986

Usually this kind of movie would annoy me, but this is just campy enough to be fun. It's set up so you think it's gonna be an April fool from the start, but as the movie goes on you're like, is the twist that it's NOT an April fool? Has Muffy (yes, MUFFY) really gone off the rails on the crazy train? I love how forgiving all her friends are (oh, that wacky Muffster!) and how she didn't get like, totally murdered by any of her "victims." Ridiculous, but fun if you like 80s cheese and the girl from Valley Girl.

I have lots more movies left on my list, and I'll be staying Up All Night* to watch them all. Stay tuned!

*Man, I miss that show. Nothing else will ever be watching Prom Night II: Hello Mary Lou or Night of the Creeps at 2AM when your mom's asleep and you're a dumb kid and the rest of your life kinda sucks but that night, man, that night of watching horror movies... that belongs to YOU.

It occurs to me that some people might think using horror movies to escape, well, the horrors of the world is a bit odd. But give me a good old fashioned spine-tingling SCARE over the real life creeping dread of say, a disgusting stupid bigot who might blow us all up, any day. Most of the movies I watch tend to be supernatural themed. I'm not saying that witches, ghosties, demon possession and the like are 100% not real, because idk for sure, but I can tell you they're not plastered across the depressing ass news all day long making me want to hide under a rock. Horror films are fantasy, often with a note of reality to make them actually scary. But not this reality, not the constant onslaught of man-made injustices, cruelties and atrocities. So yes, I escape that stuff with the kind of fear that gets my blood pumping, not the kind that defeats me.