I'm happy to report the disposable-camera-windmill-photo came out acceptable. It's not gonna win any contests and there's a pesky fence covering the bottom, but it suits my purposes. I'm a firm believer in being awesome with what you have. If you don't, you're gonna miss out on a lot. So once I'm ready to approach the experience more positively, I'll do some uploadin'.

Basically what upset me was: I felt pretty awesome and badass on that day. I had my little camera and my explore-y cargo skirt. Then I saw cops coming. Knowing I was trespassing and me being avoidant and all, I tried to beat it out of there before anything happened. Well my ninja skills failed. Apparently my home of childhood wholesome fun is now some sort of drug den. And because of my SA/avoidant crap, I was actually momentarily mistaken for a drug person. ME. I am like the most straight anti-drug person out there, I just have a disorder I can't do anything about. :/ And I'm thinking... I'm wearing Hollister! I have a blog! I'm normal...ish! I even dropped the word "blog" to explain my photo-taking because people who come to abandoned mini golf courses to score drugs DO NOT HAVE BLOGS. OR FREAKIN HOLLISTER LEATHER FLIP FLOPS. Those things are expensive considering they're FREAKIN FLIP FLOPS. (but they're cute. wibble.)

But I digress.

I eagerly gave them my bag to search so my status as a (mostly) law-abiding* American as well as my personal well-being could be restored PRONTO. I explained I was exploring a beloved childhood memory and taking photos. It was cool and that was that. BUT. It almost wasn't cool, not because I was really doing anything that wrong (they understood about the photos) but because my stupid SA betrayed me. Once again. It made me very much not-badass for the rest of the day. I doubt I'll ever quite feel badass again, no matter how many pockets my cargo skirt might have. Even if I have a really cool camera. I kinda feel like I betrayed myself, my own image of who I am, and that's the worst. It's more sacred than other peoples' image of you.

So once that feeling subsides, I'll post the photo. Maybe one day I'll be able to look at it as the badge it was supposed to be. I did get it after all... I was brave... I suppose that's something.

*well, I was trespassing. But that place will always belong to my childhood, dammit! Stupid drugs ruin everything. Drugs and traffic. Man I want to move to the country so bad. Not the kind of country where meth people live, the real country. Where people ride horses and bake pies with apples they picked themselves and swing from a tire into a river with a funny name. Yes, I want to live in an Alan Jackson song. Apparently.

Sooo my first "real" intrepid foray into urban exploring (with my intrepid disposable camera) was not exactly a success. Mainly due to the location being in a much more unsavory area than I remembered it being in. It's a shame too, because it looked really cool. I managed to take a couple shots from a distance before I was chased away, one of the iconic WINDMILL. I pray to the deity of disposable cameras (and failing that, the deity of abandoned miniature golf courses) that it at least comes out, or it was a complete washout.

Am I giving up? Hell no. I'm sad my first endeavor was mostly FAIL though. :/ I'm trying to just savor the awesomeness of the WINDMILL and shoot the rest into space with the bits of old telescopes and space junk.

Otherwise, it was a fantastic day at the Redondo Pier and El Segundo. Entry with rad disposable camera shots to come, once I get them developed. I would like a nice camera btw, especially a digital one. I just don't want to have to talk about it all the time. ;p