I have decided that dubstep was invented solely to make everyone over 25 feel old. It clearly serves no other purpose. It exists to make me think things like, "I want to like this, because my mother would hate it and by hating it I have become my mother."* Damn you, dubstep. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy some doilies and knickknacks. Lots of 'em. :/

*my mother is awesome. She's just, y'know, a bit older than me, being my mother and all.

A long time ago, old people thought Elvis and the Beatles were "noise," because it sounded different from anything they had heard. But... but... that music had a melody and lyrics and verses and a chorus and real instruments played by real humans, not robots from the planet Zsyrxbrrpft.* This is why I am not old. I just like my music to sound like music, not like 20,000 cans of baked beans being forced down a garbage disposal then through an incinerator then flattened by a garbage truck. And that's just in the first minute! These... pieces go on for like 10 minutes! (I didn't say pieces of what.)

*that is what dubstep sounds like to me, zsyrxbrrpft over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and-

So thank God for three-minute verse-and-chorus country songs that clearly originate on planet Earth, or at least Texas. I like being uncool these days. It feels comfortable, like a warm blanket or a hug. Hipness is so aggressive. Like seriously, get out of my face.