lololololo

Okay, this is just funny as hell to me. Just when I think pop-country can't get anymore ridick-ulous, well of course it does.

I haven't voluntarily listened to country radio in 4 or 5 years - whenever that Luke Bryan Shake Yo Ass for the Woodland Critters song went into heavy rotation, I was just like fuck it, I'm done. So I can easily avoid all the bad country music if I want to. Being a snarky blogger, of course I seek it out and listen to it anyway. It's called "fodder." At least, without listening to the radio, I only have to hear these songs once.

Being thoroughly underwhelmed by Kelsea Ballerini's first, and inexplicable number one hit, I did not exactly seek out "Dibs." I didn't expect it would be hilarious, just another light, bouncy pop-country snoozer. Which it is. Mostly.



What's so hilarious about it? Her overdone, fake-sounding twang in the talk-singing part, even though she is apparently from Tennessee? Well yes, I'm not sure how one can be from the south and still manage to pull off the fakest sounding twang ever - even if you don't have an accent you could at least fake it better, having grown up around it? Or maybe she was born in TN and actually grew up in Vermont, or something. Who the hell knows. It's bad, anyway. But it's not the baddest. Oh, no. Cause what we have here is a girly, bubblegummy pop-country song - with the ubiquitous hip hop "HEY!" in the chorus.

Suffice it to say, it caught me off guard. And I just started giggling. I was not expecting Lil Miss Fake Twang here to be going for... street cred? Oh pardon me, not street cred, the phrase I'm looking for is "easy money." Guys yelling "HEY!" or "YEAH!" in your song = INSTANT HIT. It's the Ramen noodles of music.

Oh god, if only it had been this guy yelling "YEAH!" instead of the weakest-ass "HEY!" I've heard since "Cruise Remix." At least that would be ridiculous in all the right ways.



Somebody, I beg of you, please replace the lame "hey!" part with Lil Jon going "YEAH!" I will listen to that. I will buy that. For great justice.

Seriously, that "Hey!" sounds like five guys who just got their feet stepped on and are midly upset about it, but not enough to actually get up or anything. If you're gonna rip off an already tired hip hop cliché, at least do it with some damn energy!