See, I just want to go back to when things were FUN. Remember... fun?

I've been trying to pinpoint the day the fun died. Having just been through an airport, the obvious answer is 9/11. And yeah, 9/11 was pretty much the death of freedom and the American way of life, but that's another story. Then I went back to the late 90s, when Britney Spears first crawled out from whatever lichen-covered rock she spawned under. But no, that came AFTER. That was merely the next link in the everything's-getting-worse chain. I have, in fact, pinpointed it down to the exact date: October 7th, 1996, the day Fox News was launched on an unsuspecting public.

To discuss the politics of Faux News is missing the point. What needs to be discussed is the attitude, and the way so many people react to it. The Faux News morning show, which so many people start their day with (scary, huh?) is basically a group of people who think in blips and sound bytes. There's no room for subtleties or discrepancies. No irony. No moments of self-enlightenment. It's the I-Already-Know-What-I-Think network. And they want to hear what you think, sure, but only so they can wait for the GOTCHA! moment. The moment they can somehow twist what you say, in their little narrow tube of a brain, into what they want you to have said. Something you will never hear on fox news: "Oh yeah, I see your point." It's this extremely unenlightened way of being, like human nature boiled down to its sad little core before we invented the wheel or thinking or anything. It's like waiting for evolution to start.

And I think the reason its so popular is because most people also Already Know What They Think, and somehow this attitude becomes justified by seeing it on TV. "Hey look Martha, that guy in a suit is saying just what I've always known! SCORE!" And then somehow it becomes fact, and everyone who opposes it is a... Communist, or something. Which is weird, because this kind of social censorship is about the most un-American thing I can think of. It's like "freedom of speech... wink wink, nudge nudge." It's the willfully stupid leading the actually stupid. Which is dangerous.

Inspired by one of my previous posts, I've been watching a lot of early 90s standup lately and it's been very life-affirming. I discovered the guy who took his microphone stand and declared, "I CLAIM THIS FOR SPAIN" in a silly accent which is something I still say ALL THE TIME, silly accent and all, even after i forgot where it came from. I love how we're all just a collection of random stuff we've heard.

But anyway. This lead me to watching some Janeane Garofalo clips and one was on the Fox morning "news" show. Basically it was this:

JG: I'm against the Iraq war for these reasons.
FOXTARD: Saddam Hussein must love you!

Um... WHAT?? Yeah, he actually said that. And this is how the majority of Americans who watch news get their news (I hope and pray the rest get it from the Daily Show). I mean, you walk into any random establishment in America and what is the default news channel they have on? It's ALMOST ALWAYS FOX. Try it, you'll see. It's like, they're scared to watch anything else or something. If we don't watch Fox News we'll be attacked by terrorists or all spontaneously turn into communists, or something. I don't know. I don't know how people can stand to be condescended to and have their worst nature constantly justified, but for whatever reason it seems to work.

What I'm saying is, I DON'T HATE FOX NEWS BECAUSE I'M LIBERAL. I hate it because it's idiotic and pandering and a lie and it hurts our country by misinforming people and then getting them all riled up over what they've been misinformed about.

And so, that was the day the fun died. And probably lots of other stuff too. But I am here to reject this self-perpetuating paranoia and fear and have some damn fun. I CLAIM THIS FOR SPAIN.