Why I don't read the news:

Every once in a while I go to the old yahoo news page to check in with the world. I like to know who's died; this is a weird obsession of mine. If a famous person has died, I want to know about it. So today I check in. General Schwartzkopf (probably horribly misspelled, sorry) has died. The first president Bush is recovering in the hospital. Okay, these are things I want to know. Duly noted.

Then - god help me - I let my eyes slowly wander down the page, and I'm reminded why I never read the news. "Shark explodes in mall!" "Woman on bus bench set on fire!" And I'm not even shocked by these things, I'm just reminded. "Oh yeah, that's why I watch youtube and play clan lord all day. Righto." And then I try to scrub the... burning sharks and exploding women from my mind, because they really have no place in there.