Why is everyone wearing shirts that say "kale?" Should I be sporting a lettuce hat, or possibly a beet belt? Think of it, a giant belt buckle saying "BEETS." This could be huge. Makes as much goddamn sense as anything else these days. :P

I think I'll stick with my cheesehead.

And now this soccer stuff is everywhere. Well I get this is something people all over the world are into, so I won't complain about it like I do the non-news. (If you're into caring about stupid reality show non-celebrities, you deserve to be complained about. And punched in the face.) I don't get soccer, but whatever. Wake me when it's football season.