RANT THAT I CAN'T PUT ON LIVEJOURNAL TIME

Okay, I admit I got sucked into the sparkly teen vampire bonanza that is TWILIGHT. I knew it was crap, but in the way that a giant sugary jelly doughnut is crap. NOMNOMNOM. But now, I am officially sick of it and feeling a bit ranty. Especially when I read lj. It's all EDWARD CULLEN and EDWARD/BELLA which I realize is mostly what the books are but... AGGGGHHHH.

Edward is BORING. He is boring and one-dimensional and has nothing going on other than obsessing on Bella. Jacob is so much more interesting! Bella is more interesting when she's with him, riding motorcycles and such! Edward is so over-protective I would imagine life would be very boring, cooped up in a house all the time. Even if it is the Cullen MANSION and even if Edward is all HAWT and SPARKLEH.

No amount of sparkles make up for lack of personality. I know, I've tried!

So, yeah. I'm over Twilight. It's just everywhere, and it's making me angry.

On the brightside, the Pats are playing in a snowstorm, which is always good times. The fans are throwing snow in the air and the Pats are winning 14-0. I like when these kind of happy memories don't change, they just keep on adding to the happy memory pot.

I haven't looked out the window. I'm not going to, I don't think.

I opted for the spring green laptop. It was just... calling to me, like spring and trees and birdies.

Tweet!
~ L.

Okay, I'm feeling better. Even though the internet is DEAD. WTF?? Isn't half the country covered in snow? Though I think a lot of the Clanners are on the west coast, so they're probably out having fun in the California sun. Well, it might be cold there too. But for instance, probably nobody in CA's car looks like a big sad white hunchbacked thing sitting in their driveway.

One reason I'm feeling better: I sort of have this feeling something is gonna happen. Then when nothing happens, I feel bored and depressed again. But, the feeling persists! I don't know why.

Also, I just found out I'm getting a new laptop AND portable DVD player for Christmas!! Now my hardest life decision is whether to actually choose a PINK laptop or be a bit more sophisticated in my choice. I'm not sure I can resist the pink. :P But those are the two things I really wanted right now, besides a newer car, and a life.

CAN I HAVE A LIFE FOR CHRISTMAS PLEASE?

Shiny laptop though!!!

I'll be making another post, on another subject, so this one ends here!

I'm watching a movie with some creepy dead psychic guy and a bunch of reanimated corpses. And sorority girls, of course! Why do I watch movies like this?

It has Meg Tilly in a ruffly 80s sweater, so that's good.

Spent part of the evening reading old posts in an inactive yahoo group I used to manage. Constructive eh? Apparently I used to say things like "vanished into the inky void." Good to know. Then I checked another group (Douglas Adams) and the latest post was "check out my new boobies!" And then another group (Letters to Cleo) and guess what?? NEW BOOBIE CHICK HAD STRUCK AGAIN. Gyeeah. I hate spambots. It's just... sad. So sad!!

Why is everything I love gone?

Apparently no one plays CL anymore, either. Maybe they all play WoW. I don't want to play WoW. I want to play CL. Though probably, one of these days I'll try WoW from desperation and fall in love with it and then end up missing it when everyone else moves on to something else. STAY PUT PEOPLE! I MEAN IT. DON'T MAKE ME COME IN THERE.

I dislike change. I like CAPSLOCKY RAGE.

Trace Adkins does a song called "You're Gonna Miss This" and it's like the truest thing EVER. You really will end up wanting everything back so enjoy it while you have it, I guess. Or try not to let it go in the first place, if you can. Life experience isn't replaceable, nor is time, so don't take a moment for granted.

bah. I'm all introspectivey. I hate when that happens. I'm entirely too sober for this.

I have a hankerin' to watch Hobgoblins, and so I shall.

Love,
Frankie, Sniffles, Bounce-Bounce, and the Claw.

I don't understand vacuuming at 9:30 in the morning, but then I don't understand anything at 9:30 in the morning except spacing out in front of the compy with a cup of coffee. I'm not usually even up at 9:30 but it's bottle recycling day. Very noisy. And then someone started vacuuming!!

I don't understand mornings.

Also, come to think of it, this building has hardwood floors. What are they vacuuming?? I hope they have like a giant area rug or something and they're not vacuuming their furniture. That's... disturbing. Very neat people are worrisome, like they would vacuumn ME if I let them. Or was in a very deep sleep. *shudders*

I signed back up for Clan Lord yesterday, since it's available for windows now. I can only play on my mom's computer, for some reason. But I'm glad to have it back. I sort of missed it. I always miss everything and it's nice when something's still around, waiting for me. There was hardly anyone on though, I hope it's not always like that.

The Big Bang Theory is on tonight, which is my new favorite show ever. I heart nerds. Sometimes I wish my life was more nerdly.

I really have to cut my nails. I can hardly type.

Other than that, everything pretty much sucks. I'd love to think I could start writing in here again, but I seem to have mostly lost my muse. Maybe I should look under the couch.

your early morning pal (zoinks!)
~ L.

Ahahahahaha!

The Woo Girls!! I thought I was the only one who noticed the disturbing trend of young women who are supposedly friends calling each other bitch and skank and whore, but someone else noticed too! Thank you, How I Met Your Mother, for validating my disdain.

God I wish I could have that dream every night.

Everyone always says they're happy and fine, but I wonder if anyone really is?

My favorite place to be is lost. Like driving down a back road and you don't really know where you are but you want to keep going forever kind of lost. It feels right. Maybe because I don't really belong anywhere right now. But the open road... that belongs to everyone.

Do I have nothing, or nothing to lose?

My favorite sound is the train late at night, riding out of town.

Every night I wait for that low, distant whistle to take a part of me with it, out into the world. I wonder where my train-self goes. I wish I could go with her.

I keep reinventing myself
because I never wanted to reinvent myself at all.
I wanted to already be who I was
but I never was.
You see?

It all makes perfect sense I swear!!

Ohey!

I forgot I actually had a place where I can say whatever the hell I want! LJ is full of assholes. I am so sick of other people and their opinions. Ok so that's probably some of my own issues speaking. I am prone to feeling stupid and out of place. But when I disagree with someone, unless they're a bigot or something, I'm respectful of them. And when people disagree with me with BRAVADO, like basically making me feel like a retard, that's when I want to crawl in a hole. This? Here? Me crawling in a hole. I know that I don't treat people the way I don't want to be treated. I'd feel guilty. It would keep me up at night that I might have made someone feel small.

Has it really been this long??

Have I really had nothing to write about all this time? *thinks* Well today for some reason when I was driving to the store I read Smithfield Ave. as "Shithead Ave." and I was like, what a strange name for a road! So, that happened.

I am needing an escape from lj and those girls I wrote about in my last post. The soullessly foul-mouthed fake lesbians. (Why soullessly foul-mouthed? Because they do it with no passion. Swearing should mean something, it should emphasize something! But they say fuck like you'd say potato, and it takes all the interest out of the word. Not to mention what it does to the potato!)

Anyway, I had one of those girls on my friends list and she "unfriended" me. (Horrible word!) And I was relieved. I was never gonna call her a ho and tell her to come over and fuck me like all her other friends, so you could see why it would be a bit of a relief. But like anything involving social contact or lack thereof, it also made me a little sad. Because it's like proof. You see, I WANT to be wrong about myself. I want the reality to be, "you think you don't fit in but you really do! We love you even though you are apparently Amish or something!" But no... I really don't fit. And I'm also not Amish. But I guess I might as well be. Well I like being wholesome, so fuck 'em. LOL IRONY... also, proper usage of "fuck." Fuck with meaning!!

I guess on that note, I'm outta here.
~ Your barn-raising pal

Sometimes I loathe livejournal. I can't believe the way other women talk to each other!! It's all swearing and sex and mock insults and fake lesbianism. For example, "c'mere cuntbag so I can sit on your face! I love u!" I'd type more examples but, I'm still recovering from that one. And they all do it! What the hell planet have I landed on? Is this like Planet of the Apes where they discover it was earth all the time and YOU BLEW IT UP, YOU BASTARDS!?

I mean I know it's just a jokey way of talking but I find it unsettling. I don't think calling each other bitches and ho's and cunts ALL THE TIME, even in jest, is healthy and I really don't get the fake lesbian I-wanna-sex-you-up stuff. I have no problem with actual lesbians, but... ??? I just can't imagine talking to another woman like that. Or any other human. This is why all my friends are men. or robots.


umm. Forget I said the part about the robots :/

My new computer background! I'm gonna miss the one I had (Mike, Joel, Crow, and Servo on the SoL, from Soultaker) but right now that is making me think of the offseason and that is bad bad bad!! Saturday is "TRUCK DAY" and i wish I could stowaway! haha how awesome would that be... hitch a ride down to FL with all the batting equipment and stuff, like a baseball hobo. yup that's me!

That's all I got... it's like slushing out today. It's like living in a slurpee machine. without y'know, the blue goop... ok I'm done.

oh random internet quiz, that might just be the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me! *is touched*

I miss writing... more specifically, I miss having something to say. I miss being honest. I know I'm gonna feel better when baseball starts, and winter's over, but... I wish I didn't feel so damn DEAD this time of year! A little spark of life would be nice. It's like, I've run out of everything and I'm waiting to be restocked. Like in Hitchhiker's Guide, where the ship is grounded for hundreds of years because they were waiting on the lemon-scented napkins, or whatever? Yeah, it's kinda like that.

WHERE ARE MY NAPKINS YOU BASTARDS!!

~Your lemon-scented pal, L.

Dear New England Patriots,

Thank you for an awesome season and a heckuva fun ride. Nothing can take away the amazing journey we as Pats fans had this year, nope, not even a Super Bowl loss. Be proud, boys... most of us don't ever get that close to history.

Thanks and much love,
a fan

Now... ARE YOU READY FOR SOME BASEBALL??

(also, somewhere Larry Csonka is happy and that's a little bit of a good thing, right?)

I downloaded some "normal" music today (like, top 40 stuff everyone listens to) and I discovered something: when I find some of that music I LIKE, I feel really good. I actually feel more connected to the universe. as long as I never download any Britney Spears or Ashlee Simpson or, y'know, Lindzee Twatface or whatever, I think I'm safe. (They all have those names that end with an "eee!" sound, for whatever reason.)

So... I haven't been doing very well lately. And I haven't written about it, because I feel I owe it to, well, myself, to write about the ups and downs of life with at least a dash of humor, and I feel utterly humorless. That is a terrible way to feel. I thrive on humor. I thrive on always being a little step above the world because part of me is cocking an eye, and laughing.

I don't know what's more sad... that I'm watching something called My Big Redneck Wedding, or that I just paused it when I went to the bathroom. durp. Well the groom has a barstool on wheels... it's awesome!... sorta.

bride to minister: Where were you ordained at?
minister: Uh, the state prison.

I'm watching the old American Gladiators, featuring Saint Larry Csonka. I used to watch this show religiously, so now it makes for wonderful nostalgia (with the added bonus of Larry Csonka humor courtesy of MST). I watched the show so much I actually remember all the contestants. No, that's not sad, that's AWESOME.

Other than that... nothing. My life is made up of a lot of nothing right now. Almost as much nothing as The Starfighters, but without the sexy refueling scenes. So... more nothing, I suppose. Well, I'm sure something will happen eventually. It will be very, very good when January is over. I hate this month.

Of course, I hate February too. But March... ah, March! March is the start of all that is good and right with the world.

Well, I am now about to watch something called 20 Greatest Redneck Moments, followed by something called My Big Redneck Wedding. That 'bout sums it up. yup.

~ Love, Cindy Lou (my redneck name!)