Thursday, March 27, 2014

Why do I listen to anything, ever? Why do I read anything, ever? Why do I turn on my comp... wait, why do I even get out of bed at all??

I HATE THIS GUY. Goddammit country music. This guy needs to be bucked off the damn bronco for good. But he won't be as long as people are stupid and he keeps making money. Goddammit. This is why money is the root of all evil. Well, maybe people will surprise me and it won't be a hit, and he'll ride off into Mexico on his goddamn donkey. WHERE HE'LL GET SHOT 47 TIMES BY A DRUG CARTEL. (Miraculously, the donkey will survive and run happy and free in the countryside.)

A girl can dream.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Hey man, is that freedom rock?


I've been on a major "classic rock" bender lately. Listen to enough of these songs and you actually feel like you've done drugs, even if you never have. I'm not sure how songs that were mostly recorded before I was born can make me feel nostalgic for something, but they do. I guess I'm nostalgic for music NOT BEING CRAP. Yeah, sounds about right. And we could all use a little peace, love and freedom rock these days, cause things really seem to be going off the rails on a crazy train.

Also, I don't know why I ever try to connect with people anymore. It always fails and I just end up feeling bad. I think I exist just to prove clichés wrong. "If at first you don't succeed, try try again." How many "tries" do you want to stick in there before you realize you'd rather have a nap instead? At least a nap accomplishes something. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." No, sometimes it makes you feel like a shitbag who wants to hide under something very large, like New York City. That feeling doesn't make you stronger, not even with time. It builds guilt and shame and resentment, not character. The one about "you always fail if you don't try" or whatever. Yes that's true, but some people have thought they were Superman and tried to fly by jumping off a roof. They probably should have opted for the "failure" of taking the stairs.

So yeah, it's just me and my music. I'm okay with that, man. Turn it up, man.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

One of the top "news" stories on Yahoo right now:

"Kim Kardashian Squeezes Into Kylie Jenner's Bikini"

k I quit life bye.

In other news, I just put on a pair of shorts, brushed my teeth, and drank a glass of water. FRONT PAGE NEWS FOLKS.

Oh wait, you say my story doesn't involve a bikini, and my name doesn't start with "k," so it doesn't count? It's just a boring update on my day that's too mundane even for twitter? Hmm, let me consider this as I read today's news while flossing my teeth. IN MAH UNDERWEAR. OH YEAH.

That is so not sexy. :( But neither is SQUEEZING INTO SOMEBODY ELSE'S BIKINI BOTTOM EW. And it is not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not *gasp* not, NOT NEWS!

*middle finger*