Monday, November 21, 2011

No, actually, everything sucks. EVERYTHING. In the entire world. Except kittens. (Well, they suckle. Which is entirely different, and cute.)

So has anyone but me noticed the world is becoming a giant fuckbasket? Is anyone like, trying to stop this, or something? Just wondering.

My life could not mirror the general mood of fuckbastry any better if it was run by Congress. (Okay, it probably could. Congress is the forgotten, left-out-in-the-sun-for-a-week Easter egg in the fuckbasket of life.)

I sincerely do not want to talk about it. ANY of it. I can't laugh at it, I can't make funny reindeer pictures out of it, I just want it to GO AWAY. I'll be in bed, under a pile of squishy blankets. If you bother me, I will tell you to go away. Unless you have pancakes. Maybe.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Crapening II: The False Alarm (Lamest sequel ever, but whew!)

Everything I thought sucked, does not actually suck. Well, not everything. Actually everything I think sucks pretty much does suck, except the stuff I thought sucked at 8:46 this morning. That's all good.

And I hate Twilight. Not because it's cool to hate Twilight, but because it sucks. It still gets an A for escapism but so does three margaritas, especially with the little umbrellas in. And you probably won't wake up with a vampire biting your pillow. ... probably. So here's a toast to things continuing to... not suck for the next 5 months.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

I think I understand now why people like Twilight, fuck.

It's escapism, and escaping is good. Or rather, it's not so much good as the lesser of two evils (reality being the great Cthulu in this scenario).

Yes the Crapening has returned, with great and mighty force. Crapening II: Revenge of the Crap.

Monday, November 07, 2011

So I had the terrible horrible no good very bad week from hell. In a hand basket. On a pogo stick. Even my RPG sucked. When things go bad in your imaginary world, where exactly do you go? Hint: it involved a lot of sleeping. And watching Hoarders and Toddler & Tiaras. And eating candy. I'm not proud. But things are much better now, after what I will refer to as the Weekend of the Great De-crapening, so I am back. My DVR kindly recorded the Chitlin Strut for me so... yeah, that is a really weird sentence. My DVR knows me too well in a sort of uncomfortable way. But that means more T&T posts, so woo hoo!

My DVR reads my mind while I sleep, doesn't it. :/ THAT'S HOW THEY WORK, ISN'T IT. YOUR TECHNOLOGY FRIGHTENS AND CONFUSES ME. But... thanks for the Toddlers & Tiaras episodes I would have never admitted wanting to anyone else. Actually you're kinda like my BFF, aren't you DVR? Let's... try on jeans together and eat pudding. Or whatever the hell BFFs do.

It may shock you from my posts, but I've never had a female friend *gasp!* I know, I'm so full of girlish goo. Can't you just picture me squealing on the phone all day? But seriously, I'm not bothered by this. I don't understand the way women act with each other and I don't miss it. I'm relieved to have my space. And my DVR, who never judges and also does a damn fine pedicure!

Oh DVR, Chitlin Strut and Rosy Pink Shimmer? You spoil me! (And yes, my feet ARE SO surrounded by flowers and water and... tea garden stones. SHADDUP.)